Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Boss Can't Be Your Friend

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Tags: boss, double standard, employee, hierarchy, lunch, rank, guest artist, jake tapper Transcript

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Man: Do you want to go to lunch? Boss: I can't be your friend because I'm your boss. Someday I might need to fire you, and it would be awkward if we were friends. Alice: Want to go to lunch? Boss: Sure.

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CNN's Jake Tapper Guest Illustrates Dilbert. Prints to be Auctioned; Proceeds Benefit Charity! Learn More.

Self Empowered Week

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Tags: honesty, aspirations, work ethic, standards, guest artist, jake tapper Transcript

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CEO: I want all of you to be creative, self-empowered, and accountable. Wally: If I could do any of that stuff, why would I work here? I just find the whole thing confusing.

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Share May 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags: dating, overanalyzing, asking out Transcript

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Woman: Do you want to go to dinner and a movie with me on Friday? Dilbert: That plan is poorly conceived. The best time to watch a movie is also the best time to eat. And what are the odds we want to see the same movie? You're a picky eater, so it would be a nightmare to decide where we both want to eat. One of us would have to compromise, and I assume it would be me. I'm offended by your offer to suboptimize my Friday experience. Woman: Do you have a better option? Dilbert: Nope. See you Friday.