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Robot As Assassin

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Share September 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags: robot, murder, instruction, control, master, slave, assassin, morals, cautionary tale Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to kill the CEO of our main competition and make it look like a robot accident. Robot: Robots are not allowed to kill humans. That is built into my program. Boss: What if I uncheck that box on your control app? Robot: This feels like the start of a great day.

Robots Will Do The Dangerous Jobs

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Share September 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags: rights, civil liberties, technology, robots, abuse, bias Transcript

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CEO: Our plan is to use robots for all the jobs that are dangerous or demeaning. No one cares if a robot gets ripped to shreds in an industrial accident. Robot: Eh? CEO: Are we cool? Robot: I'm cool, but you're going to be room temperature.

Wally Drains Robot

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Share August 31, 2015's comic on:


Tags: robot, technology, murder, killing, power, laziness, work ethic, weapon Transcript

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Robot: You killed ten thousand medical nanorobots by exposure to your bloodstream. That makes you the biggest mass murderer of robots in history. Gaaa!!! Why is my power supply draining so rapidly? Wally: Run.

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Share August 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags: manager, inspiration, entrepreneur, risk, irony, catch-22, creativity, creative, motivation Transcript

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Boss: I want you to think like entrepreneurs. Dilbert: Should we take huge risks? Boss: No, the stockholders would hate that. Alice: Should we act as though we have no boss? Boss: NO. That would be chaos. Dilbert: Will we become billionaires if we succeed? Boss: Raises are capped at 3% this year. I'm just saying you should be more creative. Dilbert: and then we should act? Boss: No, that's when the problems happen.

Nanorobots In Wally Slow Down

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Tags: laziness, work ethic, technology, robot, nanobot, motivation Transcript

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Catbert: The nanobots we injected into your bloodstream to make you a better employee are slowing down. Your blood is demotivating the nanorobots and making them useless. You're killing them! Gaaa!!! It's a massacre in there! Wally: They had it coming.