The Boss: When will I get the test data?
Dilbert: I don't know Ted is working on that.
The Boss: When do you think he will be done?
Dilbert: I know. I'm not Ted.
The Boss: Just give me a range.
Dilbert: Between one day and seven-hundred years.
The Boss: Tina says you yelled at her for not having the information you requested. Incorrect. I expressed my disappointment with a normal tone of voice.
The Boss: Stop yelling at me!!!
Dilbert: I no longer know what "yelling" means.
The Boss: If you want to succeed, you have to work hard every single day for years.
Dilbert: That sounds awful. You just talked me out of wanting to succeed. Did you work that hard to get where you are?
The Boss: Next topic!