Comments for entry "Things You Need In a New House" at Dilbert.com Blog

Comment from martinC00011

FriAMCDTE_Rthth

mallorca villa/a>

Comment from Big Pete

MonAMCDTE_Rthth

I live about 3 hours from Branson, so I spent a lot of summer vacations down there. When I was about 6, I was scarred permanently by a pedophile dressed as a cowboy at Silver Dollar City. I was refusing to eat my lunch, which was a gnarly looking hot dog that my parents had bought me, and this cowboy came up and put his fake gun to my head and told me I'd better eat it. I ate it, and didn't find out till years later that the gun was fake and so was the cowboy. I haven't liked hot dogs or cowboys since. Branson is like Las Vegas without the class. Or as my friends in KC call it, the "White Trash Festival of Lights."

Comment from maxwasatch

TuePMCDTE_Rthth

I had the same problem with South Park and BSG, but the wife is not more addicted to BSG and can stand most South Park. The secret is to make them watch the mini-series and then they are hooked.

Comment from jhasell

ThuAMCDTE_Rthth

Somehow I got the idea that salt removes heat from food. So I would dump a ton of the stuff on my food so it would cool off faster. By the time I knew better, I was too used to having large amounts of salt on my food.

Comment from brianjb

WedAMCDTE_Rthth

Like having a secret TV lair would be more pathetic than copyright infringing on Garfield. That's a good one.

Comment from amoparman

WedAMCDTE_Rthth

Can I join you for Battlestar Galactica and Southpark? I can't watch those at my house either....

Comment from marcg

WedAMCDTE_Rthth

Scott, in the Lakes Region in NH there's a place called "Castle in the Clouds". Some rich guy back in the early 1900's built this big estate up on a mountain. He was kind of eccentric, but pretty smart. For example, he built (and by "built" I'm sure he paid someone to do it :-) his shower with piping all around, so when he took a shower, water hit him all over his body. Anyway, he had his own hide-away room in the library. A panel in the wainscoting was really a door that went into a reading room. When he wanted privacy, he just ducked through the panel and closed it behind him. It probably wouldn't make a good sex lair, as the parade of hookers going into the library and disappearing would give it away sooner or later. But if all you want to do is hide from the Trick-or-Treaters, I think it would work nicely for you. Have your contractors frame a low doorway in a wall to your storage room, put in some walls behind it, and nobody will notice.

Comment from amitgawande

WedAMCDTE_Rthth

I have a suggestion too Scott. Make sure you keep a cupboard full of track pants or Bermuda shorts along with room fresheners. Imagine, else, how Mr. Scott dressed in business attire, with blazer and tie, sitting on an unpadded-daily-yellowing toilet seat in 'sweaty-farty' smelly damp lair look? :)

Comment from vijayst

TuePMCDTE_Rthth

Scott, this is a great idea. one of your very best. i prefer a secret den myself. i can probably add a bit of !$%* and a secret garage for a secret partner.

Comment from jerry w

TuePMCDTE_Rthth

For a good start point, go through the re-runs of "Married With Children". Al Bundy built one of these in his garage, complete with the porcelain throne. http://boskolives.wordpress.com

Comment from Brant

TuePMCDTE_Rthth

Try a Van Dyke. And if anybody asks,. tell them it was a performance art piece about the alienation and loneliness of modern culture.

Comment from Dudeman27

TuePMCDTE_Rthth

The toilet will hurt your rear end after a while... Would you be sitting around naked or wearing long johns with a "trap door"? You could still build it as a safe room and sneak off on a business trip, she would never know... Just make sure to wire in an internet connection and the security cameras and such (along with telephone) so that you know what's going on in the world above... And make sure the ceiling is sound proof so there is no chance of hearing them or them hearing you... CW ;-)

Comment from wcelliott

TuePMCDTE_Rthth

My cousin was having marital problems with her husband, and decided to buy a house for herself so she could "stay closer to her customers in town" (rather than file for a divorce and traumatize her kids). When showing me her house, she showed me the add-on garage, which looked perfectly normal, but had a closet off in one corner which was actually a dumbwaiter-type elevator to a windowless concrete room beneath the garage. I said, "Well, if your husband ever disappears, I guess I know where to start looking." We both had a good laugh about it, but I know it had crossed her mind when she bought the place. Maybe it's not too late for you to include a basement "workshop" underneath your garage, where you can write and watch TV in peace. (Plus, throw parties for hookers and whatever else you have in mind.) You can tell your wife it's a "Panic Room", maybe she'll fall for that.

Comment from whallify

TuePMCDTE_Rthth

Coupla tihngs 1) get a Zune or iPod and watch your shows there, or in the car while driving. It's safer than watching them in front of certain people. 2) I already built a secret lair in your house. And I'm not telling you where it is. It is a secret lair, after all.

Comment from shankarnarayan

TueAMCDTE_Rthth

i cant even grow a beard

Comment from shankarnarayan

TueAMCDTE_Rthth

i cant even grow a beard

Comment from shankarnarayan

TueAMCDTE_Rthth

i cant even grow a beard

Comment from nickersond

TueAMCDTE_Rthth

I live in such a place. When my wife found out, she locked me in and only lets me out to wash the car, cut the grass, and tend to her females urges. I dread those days. When I hear the key in the lock, I'm hoping it is time to mow the lawn.

Comment from Bloodboiler

TueAMCDTE_Rthth

If I was filthy rich, I would buy a decommissioned missile silo from somewhere nice and build a big cabin over it. I'm not big on doomsday scenarios, but I would stock a couple of floors full of stuff just in case. Part of the fun would be to act like I knew something horrible was going to happen, but refused to tell anyone what it was.

Comment from Tigerfan

TueAMCDTE_Rthth

[And I suspect !$%*!$ will be closely watching the construction phase, asking a lot of questions such as "Is that the pantry or the entrance to a secret underground party lair?"] You fool! Don't you know trust is the key to any good relationship? Without trust, you can't slip all the cool stuff you would like to do past your partner!