Comments for entry "Love and Safety" at Dilbert.com Blog

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Comment from chappy12

SatPMCDTE_Rstst

I couldn't have said it better myself. The religion example really strikes home.Why else would otherwise rational people "believe"........?

Comment from praefulgidus

FriPMCDTE_Rthth

I think love cannot be reduced to just one of its contributing factors. While it is true that a feeling of safety can produce romantic love, there are both many more ingredients involved and many different types of love. I think true love -- in the romantic sense, different from the love of one's children or friends -- occurs when two minds become so close that they begin to converge. This is how Douglas Hofstadter describes his love toward his wife in I Am a Strange Loop: when two minds reach a certain level of mutual understanding and affection, they begin to act as one organism. Now one could argue that the feeling of safety leads to such a phenomenon, but is romantic love not also affected by the basic evolutionary desire to produce children likely to survive, and thus a certain admiration of the subject of one's affection? There are more variables than one might want to think. Finally, I don't think the examination and study of love will make it any less wonderful. It didn't for mathematics.

Comment from wallpaper1227

FriPMCDTE_Rthth

i find this interesting, because what i thought at first, was that love was based more on physical appearance and factors relating to it. for example we care for bunnies, because they appear soft, weak and defenceless, which makes us think that we need to protect it and that,'s why it's cute, then eventually it relates to love being more on appearance. any thoughts?

Comment from MayaJ

WedPMCDTE_Rthth

Up until last July when I had my first child I most definitely would have agreed whole-heartedly with love=safety. Your hypothesis needs a clause for children, as I'm sure many previous comments have stated.

Comment from SondraGail

TuePMCDTE_Rthth

That barf is truly marinating in testosterone.

Comment from BobNL

TueAMCDTE_Rthth

Counter-argument: Then why do women feel attracted so often to dangerous men like adventurers, bankrobbers, drug-addicted rockstars, etc? * looking for a uniform to put on to be hot*

Comment from tinyhands

MonPMCDTE_Rthth

Then why do I love chocolate?

Comment from mark7953

SunAMCDTE_Rthth

The reason that most men prefer dogs to cats is that dogs hunt in packs and cats do not. Most men are genetically predisposed to the pack mentality. (follow strong leader, breed as many females as possible, fight with males from rival packs, etc.). My pack instincts are not strong, so I identify with cats more than dogs. Plus cats kill mice. If you have ever had mice in your house, eating your food, chewing holes in your clothes, and !$%*!$%* everywhere, you will appreciate the cat that solves this problem.

Comment from Phantom II

SatAMCDTE_Rthth

Gee, Scott. Have you shared this warm, cuddly vision of love's true meaning with S h e l l y? You hopeless romantic, you! I can't wait to see what you'll get her for next Valentine's day - since love=safety, I'd wager it will be either a Glock 17 or a Glock 26; they're great ladies' pistols - I hear you can get the latter model in pink. She will be overwhelmed, I'm sure, with your clear expression of what love really means. Think how much safer you'll feel once you get her a concealed carry permit! Wow! Love times ten!!!!! Dinners out will be so much more romantic! Not to mention those shopping trips to Broadway Plaza! So your wife made you feel safer than other women you've dated; thus you married her. Well, actually, that explains a lot. You also, as I recall, have a cat. Go figure. I've heard that the European Sami people have hundreds of words for snow. You have topped them, having virtually no words for love. I can't wait to see how this one plays out at your house. Good luck.

Comment from tbailen

FriPMCDTE_Rthth

The most profound experience I ever had of love was in a dream. A young woman was aging rapidly in front of me. As soon as I decided not to judge her appearance, I felt an immediate and perfect sense of love. I believe this fits into Scott's theory about love being related to safety. Since judgement kills safety, As soon as I judge you (or myself), I am more likely to attack you, or leave you- threats to safety. If I instead kill *judgement*, I improve the conditions for safety and love.

Comment from Anfauglir

FriAMCDTE_Rthth

"how do you explain all the stress we love to induce in ourselves voluntarily (extreme sports or group sports, for example)?" DOES that really put stress on you? Or does it give you a buzz? I'll wager that when you or they are competing in those extreme sports, the rush of endorphins and feeling of joy is what's going through your head, rather than constantly thinking "oh man I hate this" - if it was the latter, you'd quit. Same point as for the guy loving wild girls - they are giving him "buzz" rather than "stress"....so although another person may not be wired to love the same qualities, they are still getting the same "I am getting enjoyment and validation from this person". Re: the question "why do women love cats".....a cat is a non-judgemental listener. You can tell it all your worries and it won't try to "fix" them like a guy would. Perhaps a cat makes you feel "safe" in that you can offload without judgement?

Comment from equa

FriAMCDTE_Rthth

HumilityRocks: If you drop 1) Love God, I'm on board... But I guess that makes me not a Christian.

Comment from Ardent_Eccentric

FriAMCDTE_Rthth

.In regards to your hypothesis and other species. When adopting pet house bunny's. The rabbit adoption foundation near where I live requires adopters to adopt rabbits in specifically matched pairs.( their all neutered) This particular agency strictly makes sure the rabbits paired, get along with each other before adoption. when paired their usually monogamous and at times very protective of their paired mate. Like many people,Rabbits are social animals. They get noticeably lonely and depressed when left by them selves without social interaction . Rabbits are Especial depressed if they end up stuck in a cage all day. They need room to play... I couldn't imagine what its like being a lab rabbit....