Thank you so much for your opinions yesterday on the best t-shirt slogans. I tabulated your preferences below, sorted by the most popular at the top. Skip to the bottom to see which three slogans I decided to test on www.eyecrowd.com, a new site that pays citizens for their opinions.

There's no kill switch on awesome. (29 votes)

I'm not lazy, I'm useless. There's a big difference. (20)

[Shorter version: I'm not lazy, I'm useless. Big difference.]

I'm toying with the idea of becoming a useful member of society. (14)

With any luck, your soul mate won't be perceptive. (11)

[Shorter version: I hope your soul mate isn't perceptive.]

Goals are a form of self-inflicted slavery. (10)

Never mind. My phone took care of it. (8)

Did you learn to debate on the Internet? (7)

I can no longer resist the urge to text while you talk. (6)

[Shorter version: I text while you talk at me.]

Self-respect is like a prison for the soul. (5)

You might want to pick a defense that's less checkable. (5)

[Shorter version: Try picking a defense that's less checkable.]

I've decided to be more aggressive in blaming others for my lack of success. (5)

I tried to read your email but the signal-to-noise ratio was too low. (3)

[Shorter version: Your signal-to-noise ratio is low]

Notable Write-ins:

My philosophy is that anything worth doing is too hard.

And that is how Floyd became the first person to hold his breath and jump into outer space.

Which Ones I'm Testing on Eyecrowd.com:

The top two vote getters ("...no kill switch on awesome," and "I'm not lazy...") are so strong that I know they would also score highest on eyecrowd.com, so that would be a wasted test. I decided to test the third and fourth highest vote getters ("...useful member of society," and "...soul mate won't be perceptive."). Then I added my own wildcard pick of "I text while you talk at me." I think that's a dead winner as a gift item for teens.

While I like the sixth most popular slogan, according to blog readers, I'm uncomfortable with the word "slavery" just because of the tone. And it doesn't seem like a gift sentiment.

Thank you again for you opinions.

Rank Up Rank Down Votes:  +13
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Mar 15, 2012
man, I'd totally forgotten about the blue duck! Scott, you HAVE to bring that back! & while you're at it isn't it about time the DNRC had a presidential candidate? the bar has never been lower...
Mar 14, 2012
The blue duck was better.
Mar 14, 2012
You're insidious really, you know no one wants to wear such a t-shirt but many people will by them because to them it's funny when someone else they know is wearing them. My mum bought me a BBQ apron with "What if Google is wrong?" on it for Christmas a few years back. It makes no damn sense what so ever but her and my sisters thought it was hilarious and had a good old chuckle about it. I don't work or have anything to do with Google other than as a user! People give these kinds of gifts almost as a veiled insult. And then you have to wear it at least that day... grrr
+6 Rank Up Rank Down
Mar 14, 2012
I flipped over the desk calender for today and synchronicity reared it's head.

You're talking about catchy slogans yet missed one of your best. "Stop failing the Turin test"

That would make a great Tshirt
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Mar 14, 2012
The problem with "There's no kill switch on awesome" is that it's too much like the David Letterman line "There is no off position on the genius switch," which you can see at the end of any video on the Late Show website.
Mar 14, 2012
I want to comment on the short version: I'm not lazy, I'm useless. Big difference.

"Big difference" might be construed by some as being sarcastic, meaning "No difference". We know what you mean, but other people might not. The long version might be better.
Mar 14, 2012
However, people BUYING it for teens is another matter. I can definitely see grandparents, aunts, and uncles buying that shirt as a present for the kids they know. I've gotten a lot of presents like that when I was younger from relatives who didn't really know me. I never wore them, but the manufacturer still got the profits from it. You could probably build an entire business on something like that, and still have the product never, ever be used.
Mar 14, 2012
I'm 19, and obviously know a lot of kids in their younger teens, and I have to say, I really don't think any teen would wear that texting slogan shirt. It's like, "Look at me, I'm being rebellious, I'm so cool!", but anyone over 10 years old KNOWS that's what it's like, and then whoever is wearing it looks immature, and we all know teens hate that.
I could be wrong, and I do tend to socialize with kids who are fairly intelligent, but I can't think of anyone I know that would willingly wear that shirt in public.
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Mar 14, 2012
"There's no kill switch on awesome"

I commented earlier that the type of person who gets this is probably not the type of person who would wear it on a t-shirt. Then I checked facebook. A friend's son had posted a photo of his latest culinary experiment: Pulled pork cinnamon rolls. (Apparently they tasted every bit as awful as his tomato basil ice cream experiment.)

Then I saw this update -and immediately pictured that line under that photo.
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