Someone called into a radio station and this was broadcasted live: that person said something about his costume (sorry I didn't catch what he said) and also said that when people ask him about the costume, he'll tell them that he works for the department of !$%*!$%*!$%*!$%*!$%*! friend of mine once wore a halloween costume in which he looked like a cow ! The milk teats (like 5 big ones) were near his midsection. And sure enough, he got a lot of attention from the ladies !

So what did you go as?

I sorted these comments by best and worst votes and picked the best one. For Halloween I took the idea of wearing nothing but pants. We wrote Premature Ejaculator across my chest and I spent the night explaining "I just came in my pants."

Thanks MeisBarry!

If anyone can't think of a quick costume next year, wear a box wrapped in xmas paper and put on a tag that says "To Women From God" (or Men)

Sorry, how do you "go all Ted Danson" on someone?

Best one I saw was a kid dressed in toilet tissue and had two toy guns.
He was dressed as !$%*!$%*!$%*! Bang-Bang.

Dress all in black put a postage stamp in the upper right corner of your shirt and go as "blackmail" =)

Get an Obama Mask, and paint a Joker Face on it.

(My wife doesn't think I will do it, if she doesn't come up with something better. We'll see :)

Why don't you dress up as whatever, and tell everyone you are Jack the Ripper - considering there has not been even a single sighting of the man!

Go as Jim Parson's character in The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon. Be so self-involved as to appear to have Asperger's Syndrome (I can't believe they haven't brought that up on that show or maybe they did and I missed it.)

HALLOWEEN IS OVER FOR YOU

I stole this idea from a friend and you can feel free to steal it from me. I like a simple costume that makes people go WTF? and Oh, i see. While this particular idea is not political or even highly topical, I still think it's a hoot.
"I'm thinking Arby's". I took one of those headbands that has the springs and some sort of funny bobbing toy kind of thing (I call them deely-boppers), cut the toys off and affixed a red cardboard Arby's logo to the springs.
This is especially funny when you work in a cube farm and as you're walking around people just see the big logo floating along.
Anyway, that's my two cents for the day.

Or you could go in a simple drab olive, gray, or tan pants and shirt with a name tag that says Barack Obama. When people ask about your clothing, you could say, "Colors are expensive, if we're going to survive, we're going to have to make some sacrifices."

Bill the Cat! Stick out you tongue and say, "Ack! Ack! Ack!"

You could still go as 'that guy in sweatpants'. Get a set of blacks and glue reflective tape on the arms and legs and torso, and use something to make a circle shape for your head. In a semi dark situation, as most parties are, if you glue on the reflective tape in the style of a stick man, you'll really stand out.

I did this for my son when he was 12 and he got tons of compliments.

You could even do it as a dilbert character, since they're essentially outlines. Wish I had a shot I could post (i'll keep digging), because it really looked good when a flashlight or porchlight hit it. Tail lights from a car made him glow like a devil stick man. :)

If you do go as Obama, do NOT paint your face black - didn't quite go down well down here when we did it for a Michael Jackson tribute. Australia got the joke, unfortunately EVERYONE else didn't. Oops.

BUT I think going as Garfield would be hilarious - think about the irony of it!

Death Board Member.

Start with an old suit, white shirt, tie.

Put syringes sealed with different colored liquid in pocket protector in shirt pucket.

Accountant glasses.

Clipboard. Write down peoples names, a health note (e.g. drinks a lot, overweight, etc.) and recommended date of death.

Wear large badge with "Ask me about early termination options" written on it.

Let suit jacket dangle open so huge bloodstain and rips on shirt is visible.

Wear red Crocs, or better: sneakers soaked in red paint.

Have rubber ear dangling out of jacket pocket.

Have large (rubber) "bloody" axe dangling down your back, or in a holster.

Its obvious isnt it... Come in a cardboard box with no holes, paint it grey like cement and taadaaa --- You are now Michael Jacksons casket.....
What? to soon?

Scott, you totally rock!!!

I've read the first third of your STDCMB! and it's absolutely hilarious but enlightening at the same time. All the kudos to you! I borrowed it from a library so unfortunately no money for you in this occasion. You should add a tip jar to your site. Everyone should, except the bad guys, they should have a withdrawal jar. You have my permission to feel that you are awesome for the rest of your life :P I'm really sorry about the dystonia btw, but if it depresses you just think of the girl that can only move and speak normally when walking backwards or running (I pray to the scientists every night for a cure for that and all other illnesses, including ageing, stupidity and ugliness).

Your fan,

Alex


--
Want to know the the purpose of your life? It is to read 'I am you', by Daniel Kolak.

A dollar.

You self-describe as being kind of... not athletic.