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Suppose humans were born with magical buttons on their foreheads. When someone else pushes your button, it makes you very happy. But like tickling, it only works when someone else presses it. Imagine it's easy to use. You just reach over, press it once, and the other person becomes wildly happy for a few minutes.

What would happen in such a world?

You could imagine that everyone in the world would be happy just about all the time. People would make agreements with each other to push each other's buttons on a regular basis, thus guaranteeing the complete and utter happiness of all humans.

No, I can't imagine that either.

The first thing that would happen is that we'd create some rules of etiquette saying you can't press anyone's button without explicit permission. That makes sense, since sometimes you need to get some work done, and happiness can make you lose focus. You wouldn't want people making you happy against your wishes.

The next thing that would happen is that people would realize they can sell the button-pushing service. People would stop giving it away for free. You'd be begging people to press your button and it would just seem pathetic. You might get some takers for a brief button-pushing fling, but it would get tiresome to push another person's button every few minutes all day.

Perhaps some people would give their button-pushing services away for free, to anyone who asked. Let's call those people generous, or as they would become known in this hypothetical world: crazy sluts.

Button pushing would become an issue of power and politics within relationships and within business. The rich and famous would get their buttons pushed all day long, while the lonely would fantasize about how great that would be.

I can't think of any imaginary situation in which long term happiness could come from other people. The best you can hope for is that other people won't thwart your efforts to make yourself happy.
 
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Dec 24, 2010
Can nly a person push it, or can you push it yourself with a stick? Could a robot hand push it?
 
 
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Apr 21, 2010
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HURt0-e9Anw
 
 
Apr 20, 2010
Wouldn't there be a religion which said that God does not want us to push happiness buttons?
 
 
Apr 9, 2010
We seem to be missing the obvious parallels, and I don't mean the sexual ones. A smile, a compliment, a kind word, and a lot of other things can make other people happy. We all have the capability to push each others buttons, and not just the happiness ones.
 
 
Apr 8, 2010
If just one button push would give few minutes of happiness, then:
1) These buttons would be pushed all the time.
2) Civilization would die pretty fast, because such happiness button would severely demotivate people to do anything but pushing each other buttons.
3) May be civilization would manage to prevent such buttons pushing... then civilization would have chance to survive.
 
 
-3 Rank Up Rank Down
Apr 8, 2010
What kind of messed up creator would design a creature with a button like that? Having to totally rely on others for pleasure/happiness like that is lousy design. Sort of like putting a snack bar next to a sewer. ehhhh, on second thought..............

So why doesn't Dogbert lick his bAlls? Because he CAN make a fist.
 
 
Apr 7, 2010
We do have that button. But religions and counterproductive social conventions have tried to talk us out of pushing each others happiness buttons, saying it is naughty or perverted.
 
 
Apr 7, 2010
My buttons are getting pushed all the time - and no body can see them.
The best button for me is the DND (Do Not Disturb) button on my phone.
That is the one that needs to be visible to the world.
 
 
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Apr 7, 2010
Even better than a happiness button:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/americas/04/06/vbs.colombian.devils.breath/?hpt=C2
 
 
Apr 7, 2010
While you have described a less interesting version of inter*course, when you said
"I can't think of any imaginary situation in which long term happiness could come from other people. The best you can hope for is that other people won't thwart your efforts to make yourself happy. " I thought "that sounds about right".
 
 
Apr 6, 2010
@ Samwise

I see you don't really need a "funny button". You've got one. While I agree that the "dead guy in a wheelchair" is a weird story, that really isn't "uncontrollably" funny.

 
 
Apr 6, 2010
@ Samwise

I see you don't really need a "funny button". You've got one. While I agree that the "dead guy in a wheelchair" is a weird story, that really isn't "uncontrollably" funny.

 
 
+4 Rank Up Rank Down
Apr 6, 2010
STOP. Scott must answer an important question before any further comments are posted.

This forehead mounted "happy button", was it designed by the same team who designed the Gmail "reply button(s)"?
 
 
Apr 6, 2010
Someone would invite an automated button pusher, probably inside of a hat of some kind, patent it, and make a fortune.
 
 
Apr 6, 2010
Someone would invite an automated button pusher, probably inside of a hat of some kind, patent it, and make a fortune.
 
 
Apr 6, 2010
Someone would invite an automated button pusher, probably inside of a hat of some kind, patent it, and make a fortune.
 
 
-5 Rank Up Rank Down
Apr 6, 2010
" the lonely would fantasize about how great that would be." I'm sure there would be a 4,200 page bill in the White House that would insist that all the happy people pay for the button pushers for the unhappy people...
 
 
+7 Rank Up Rank Down
Apr 6, 2010
Not at all related to the blog post, but mayhaps good comic fodder:

Today I realized that a powerful work-dodging weapon is to always look like you're eating. If you have a tupperwear container, a fork, and a little bit of food at your desk people feel guilty interrupting your lunch and will either leave immediately or loiter less.

Extra points if it's something really messy and/or pungent. Garlic ribs will even get you out of shaking hands.
 
 
+10 Rank Up Rank Down
Apr 6, 2010
Suppose we all had a "Shut the hell-up button" next to the "Happy" button...how much more do you think that one would get pushed?
 
 
Apr 6, 2010
not related to the article, but since I'm not sure Mr. Adams reads his emails (based on his attitude toward emails expressed in his books), thought I'd share a "TOTALLY 'Scott Adams' " story here:

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/100406/world/britain_airport_crime

I started laughing uncontrollably at the article header. And it went downhill from there.
 
 
 
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