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I just invented a new holiday. It's called Negative Christmas. On this day, rather than giving gifts, you can force a family member or friend to discard one item that he or she already owns. The selected item might be a hideous shirt that you consider an abomination, or that pair of bedroom slippers that are an insult to all footwear. The idea is that the unrecipient should be better off without the item you ungift.

For example, let's say you have a single friend who has a collection of Star Wars memorabilia and also complains that he can't get a woman to stay the night. You could help by making him give away the full-sized wookie that he keeps next to his dresser. When the next Negative Christmas rolls around you could go after the collection of light sabers he keeps over his mantle. It might take you a few years to make any difference in his love life, but think of it as a project.

For real Christmas, people often give gifts of clothing or accessories so the recipient will look attractive. For Negative Christmas you could pay a crazy guy with tattoos to punch your friend in his soft tissue every time he eats a Big Mac or skips going to the gym. In the long run it will help your friend more than a new necktie.

During Negative Christmas there will be no need for vacuous greeting cards or festive salutations. For the entire month leading up to Negative Christmas you are expected to avoid eye contact and mumble insults about everyone you encounter. Ask yourself what would make you happier: 1. Getting a cheap greeting card or, 2. Calling someone a trout-faced bastard under your breath.

Negative Christmas would be every June 25th, on the opposite side of the calendar from Christmas. You would celebrate by planting a tree instead of killing one, and saving your money for yourself instead of blowing it on worthless crap for others.

Who's with me?
 
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Jul 7, 2009
i like the idea! It's nice!
 
 
Jun 26, 2009
Well your june 25th was pretty negative alright, i'm still sad. Rip MJ & FF.
 
 
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Jun 12, 2009
It already exists! Years ago, a Florida DJ named Jack Harris created "Leon" on June 25th. Why Leon? It's "Noel" spelled backwards.
 
 
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 12, 2009
NOBODY
 
 
Jun 12, 2009
Im definetely with you
sounds like a great holiday
 
 
-1 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 9, 2009
June 25 is already my wedding anniversary, so the general idea works well for me. (Although I guess this makes Christmas Day also my un-wedding anniversary. Hmmm.)
 
 
Jun 9, 2009
This will never take off. It's too much like the rest of the year.
 
 
Jun 9, 2009
someone suggested negative thanksgiving... surly that would be where any native amaricans send envolopes full of strange and new illnesses to the western world??

I'm all for Negative Xmas, Esp the trout faced bar steward bit. Would love to do that where i work, would make me feel soo much better. Instead of school holidays kids have to attend EXTRA school leaving some free time to their parents who would normally be busy buying presents and taking them screaming to see santa.

God Save Scott Adams!
 
 
Jun 9, 2009
My spouse has this boxing punch-bag that he's owned for 15 years but never used. He won't sell it, or donate it to the local gym. It's first on my list!

How about calling it X-Xmas. Actually can't we just take over Xmas - it's a better name for our idea anyway.
 
 
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Jun 9, 2009
I'm in, but if anyone tells me to get rid of my wookie they will get punched in the face!
 
 
Jun 9, 2009
Happy negative christmas! Now give up the keyboard you use to type up these ridiculous ideas.
 
 
Jun 8, 2009
i think this is one holiday where everyone would be in to giving, but not too keen on receiving.
 
 
Jun 8, 2009
I'm in! Especially the part about planting a tree and saving money instead of blowing it!
~ManDee
 
 
+2 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 8, 2009
Funny you should mention this. Several female friends have commented recently that they're glad their husbands are going away so they can ditch a bunch of his stuff. Is it just me, or does that seem a bit cruel? Surely an intelligent being can decide what crap to save and what to get rid of? Especially with the aid of his wife, who is surely more unbiased than he...

I still remember my father's face when he discovered that my mom gave away his favourite (and truly atrocious) chair--eerily similar to the look the dog gave us when he came home from the vet after being neutered.
 
 
Jun 8, 2009
Sounds like a Festivus for the rest of us!
 
 
Jun 8, 2009
Hmm, Happy Negative Valentine. The possibilities are endless….Am thinking more mildly, like letting all the air out of your old girl/boyfriend’s tires remembering that they broke your heart.
 
 
Jun 8, 2009
sounds ideal, but it won't work because you can't make money off of it
 
 
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Jun 8, 2009
All aboard!
 
 
+2 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 8, 2009
I've already lost my house ... and all my teeth ... I guess I could lose my dignity
 
 
Jun 8, 2009
Someone alert Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric, this new holiday makes Scott Adams their Person Of The Week
 
 
 
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