According to a new study, women are attracted to intelligent men for both long term relationships and for hook-ups.


The only time women are not attracted to intelligent men is when they have the option of a good looking guy who is dumber than pants on fish. Still, it's comforting to know that given the choice of two ugly guys, women usually prefer the one who is not a moron. And obviously many women will still pick the guy who is both ugly and stupid if he has lots of money, good hair, is tall, or plays in a band. I did my own study to reach that conclusion. It's titled "Duh."

In my vast experience as an unattractive smart guy who was not always a syndicated cartoonist, there are in fact women who have fetishes for smart men. Not many, but they exist. My guess is that about 3% of the female public is in that group. That's probably good enough to keep the inventions flowing for a few more evolutionary steps.

The only risk to the future of humanity is that nerds will invent a technology that is better than sex with another human being. I'll try to keep this next part rated PG-13, so please be patient with the indirectness.

I assume some entrepreneur is already working on creating a business where guys will be able to buy a lifelike female body part that plugs into a standard USB port, and can be controlled by someone else across the Internet. That artificial body part could mimic a hand, mouth, or woo-woo. In the short run, the business model would involve paying women, in countries where such things are legal, to control the device and appear on a web cam chat. In the long run, artificial intelligence and CGI women will be controlling the action, so the whole system would only cost $100, with no recurring fees. And that will be the end of humanity because nerds will stop mating, their genes will die out, humanity will revert to the Bronze Age, and all the attractive, dumb people will be eaten by wild dogs.

I like to end on a positive note, so let's take a moment to be happy for the wild dogs.

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Oct 14, 2008
as a nerd im offened (and i know i speak for at least the D&D groups im in as well and a warhammer group)
we are not so wrapped up in our computers that we would resort o that level. Yes we may be over protective of them and name them , but non of my friends would ever do that. You underestimate the primal urge of homo sapien to go and find a mate or companion of the opposite sex.
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Oct 13, 2008
and the wild dogs are attractive dogs or smart dogs ?
Oct 10, 2008
A maxim i fully endorse....

"All really great lovers are articulate,
and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction."
~Marya Mannes

i adore brainy guys!
Oct 8, 2008
I can honestly say I prefer smart, average looking men. I always have. Not to say I can't enjoy looking at a big, dumb lug, but my real attraction has always been brains.

My first crush from the age of about 7 was Mr. Spock - and it was in the 80s so most girls my age where into Westley Crusher if they were in Trekkie households at all. I totally wanted to grow up, marry Spock and have super smart, pointy eared babies. I also loved Dr. Egon Spengler in Ghostbusters, just to prove it's not a fluke.

To this day, I like tall and good at math, science and spelling. My husband fits to a tee. Now if only he has pointy ears.

Studies like this don't take the intelligence of the woman into account. I'm (not being vain) above average in the brain department myself. In relationships the benefits of being with a smart guy are obvious, but I would argue even in a strictly for fun affair. Creativity and ability to learn are traits the big hunk who cares more about building muscles then reading books.

The lesson: Look to the women as geeky and smart as you.
Oct 8, 2008
Check out realdoll.com

They're already halfway there.
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Oct 8, 2008
Don't worry Scott it won't be the lack of breeding smart people who do it. It'll be the inbreeding. You see such technology, when available would work both ways. So women would start to use it too- however as women (unlike most men) come with the need to procreate (not just do the practice) it would probably soon start to come with an injector for "pre screened procreation potential". This would allow women to chose from what they want (not what they can get) The problem comes in the next generations when everybody is the offspring of random women and the two guys who managed to get a Nobel, win Mr Universe, and hold nice dinner conversation while being well groomed members of mensa. Naturally these guys would also be rich- because if nothing else there are billions a shot and you only really need one to charge a cuple of bucks per injection....
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Oct 7, 2008
And I thought it was already bad enough helping my techno-incompetent relatives and my loser friends with their computer problems.
At least no one here stooped so low as to make a "moist robot" reference.
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Oct 7, 2008
Hey, bald(ing) men are sexy:

Yul Brynner (ok, he's dead)
Mitch Pileggi
Nicolas Cage
Sean Connery
Patrick Stewart (and a Starship captain has to be smart, unlike presidents)


Homer Simpson

Oct 7, 2008
Scientists estimate that by the end of this century, via the means of Virtual Reality, a man will be able to simulate making love to any women he wants to through his television set. You know, folks, the day an unemployed ironworker can lay in his Bark-a-lounger with a Fosters in one hand and a channel flicker in the other and virtually boink Claudia Schiffer for $19.95, it’s gonna make crack look like Sanka, all right?!

-- Dennis Miller
Oct 7, 2008
You know what they say, big frontal lobe... big hat.
Oct 7, 2008
I'd be more interested in a study that finally determines which band member gets the most tail ... the lead singer, the guitar player, the bass player or the drummer? Of course, the lighting guy should also be included, but we all know that's just so they don't feel left out.
Oct 7, 2008
I just wanted to comment to say I love the blog and love your writing. Every time I read your next entry, I feel like I need to comment, twitter, utterz or link to you in some way. but I end up not doing it. I guess I should let you know I *do* buy your books (often) and give them away as gifts (sometimes).

So, keep being funny or I stop paying.
Oct 7, 2008
Thank you for that hilarious digression from your recent political blogging. Could you write something about our Canadian election, even if it is too make fun of us?
Oct 7, 2008
I often wonder if my wife would go for this. I mean, she hates having sex, so would she feel like I was cheating if I got some A.I. hooker, or would she feel relieved that she no loner has to touch me once a month?
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Oct 7, 2008
I think I speak for geeks everywhere when I say that I will settle for nothing less than a wireless woo woo.
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Oct 7, 2008
Now hold on just one second...

"Women want [smart guys], says Mark Prokosch, [a smart guy] at Elon University in North Carolina, who led the study."

I call "wishful thinking confirmation bias" ;)

It's true, though -- chicks dig a guy with big lobes!

Oct 7, 2008
The next day, Billy's planet was destroyed by aliens. Have you guessed the name of Billy's planet? It was Earth.

Oct 7, 2008
Hm... maybe I'm thinking of something else in retrospect.

In any case, the thing that you're writing about I'm sure exists, as I've seen it before.
Oct 7, 2008
I take it you've never heard of the f l e s h bot then, Scott?

(I'm almost ashamed to say I know of its existence.)
Oct 7, 2008
I pretty much agree with you, but the stats change based on age, location and amount of money.

Location mostly applies to the wild dogs variable. In some areas, this chore will more likely be handled by jackals, muskcrats or polar bears.
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