Just when you thought we didn't have enough problems, a type of immortal jellyfish is making a move for world domination. Apparently they become younger after they procreate.


I welcome our jellyfish overlords. We humans like to think we're the pinnacle of evolution but the evidence doesn't support that theory. Let's see how we compare to jellyfish.

Starting with the obvious, when we humans become old we pay big money to inject rat poison in our foreheads so we won't look like this:


When Jellyfish get old they just hump their way back to childhood and start over. Seriously, who has the better system?

When humans want to find a mate they use online dating services and interview many strangers, at least half of whom have club feet and criminal records.

Jellyfish have the advantage of looking exactly alike. That means every jellyfish is aroused by every other jellyfish. When they want to mate they just grab the nearest jellyfish that isn't their own reflection and start going to town. Advantage: jellyfish.

Last night I watched the Jacksonville auditions for American Idol for the second time in two nights because the kids hadn't seen it the first time. Jellyfish spent last night making love and getting younger. Advantage: Jellyfish.

Okay, now it's your turn. Tell me what you have been doing recently and compare that to what jellyfish were doing at the same time. See who wins.

Rank Up Rank Down Votes:  +8
  • Print
  • Share


Sort By:
Jan 29, 2009
Me Reading this blog.

Jellyfish - procreating

Definitly Jellyfish
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Jan 29, 2009
Jellyfish: turns into a polyp after mating.
Me: ....

Well, let's just call it a tie.
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Jan 29, 2009
I read a similar story two nights ago so I spent Wednesday finding myself a Turritopsis Nutricula jellyfish. I spent yessterday afternoon repeatedly trying to mate with said jellyfish in hopes that I wopuld get half the age reversing benefits.

You really don't want to know about the, er-hum, 'challenges' I am dealing with today. but trust me, it's safe to say the jellyfish wins.
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Jan 29, 2009
I could have sworn you didn't have kids.
Maybe I'm insane.
Jan 29, 2009
me: writing my dissertation, a process that has aged me considerably.

Jellyfish: humping and getting younger. Advantage: Jellyfish.
Get the new Dilbert app!
Old Dilbert Blog