I've written before on the topic of how the universe seems to have a cruel sense of humor, or maybe just a sense of balance. For example, the universe might allow you to be rich, handsome, and a young President of the United States. The only catch is that you also get assassinated in Dallas, or your intern is Monica Lewinsky. There's always a catch.

But I think I found the all-time winner in this category in a Forbes article about billionaires who lost some or all of their fortunes in 2008. Before you read about him, allow me to describe the conversation that the universe had with his soul before he was born. I think it went something like this:

Universe: I've decided to make you a billionaire.

Soul: Woo-hoo!

Universe: But you will lose more than half of it in one year.

Soul: I guess that's still okay. That's still a lot of money.

Universe: And you'll probably go to jail for two years.

Soul: Dang. I knew there was a catch. Still, it's only two years.

Universe: Actually, that's not the catch.

Soul: Uh-oh.

Universe: Your name will be Anurag Dikshit.

Soul: Ha ha! Good one. Seriously, what will my name be?

Universe: We're done here, Dikshit.


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Jan 16, 2009
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Jan 8, 2009
I helped the folks in Nepal with their school laptop deployment. We had a server software to filter out "inappropriate content" and ironically it filtered out the name !$%*!$%*!$

See the summary here:

-- Tony Pearson
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Jan 2, 2009
Scott, Over on Dave Berry's blog, I found a link to a story about smart bats having small testicles. It fits in your theory.

Jan 2, 2009
I have to point out that the correct way to pronounce the name is with a soft d and t, like 'th' in the. So in normal usage the name !$%*!$% does not sound as bad as you think it does.
Jan 1, 2009
Thanks for all the laughs - and the thought provoking blog entires!
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Jan 1, 2009
universe: you will be born in a very wealthy and powerful family in a very wealthy and powerful country on the world
soul: great
universe: you will have all the luxuries of life and no worries
soul: even better
universe: you will become president of this great wealthy country and inherit a booming economy. you will win the second term as president as well
soul: oh. fantabulistic, and don't ask me to spell this word
universe: but you will be stupid
soul: Aww. So that is the catch, is it?
Universe: no. 'cause you will be so dumb that you will not even know that you are dumb.
soul: then what's the catch?
universe: there is no catch for you!! you father has used his influence to bail you out of the catch, George. you are the one no one can catch, no matter what you do. So go ahead, lie, steal, start a illegal war, an illegal prison camp, chose crook as your VP, run your businesses in ground, never read a book in your life and still marry a librarian. you, my friend, will duck every shoe thrown at you.
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Jan 1, 2009
Awww, come on, !$%*!$% isnt the worst of the names (and you got to be a billionaire)
Infact !$%*!$% (or Dixit) is quite common lastname in India, (Madhuri Dixit is one top actress)

Sadder indian names

These guys do have it tough in life.
Dec 31, 2008
On a completley unrelated topic..

I think the mashups are a great addition to the site. I've had alot of fun reading other peoples ideas.

I'm interested to hear what strips you have enjoyed?
Dec 31, 2008
I can't help but notice that your swear filter seems to be blocking out all instances of this guy's funny name. If that does not prove that the swear filter is a !$%*!$% stupid idea, I don't know what does.
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Dec 31, 2008
!$%*!$% will basically be a political prisoner. Lovely country we live in that bans private transactions between consenting adults.
-1 Rank Up Rank Down
Dec 31, 2008
an unrelated article to bring your attention to...

Russian Professor Predicts End of U.S.


Wish you a happy new year... I hope I will get a visa to the California republic next year.. :-)
Dec 31, 2008
My brother and I travelled once to a country where his name meant KING OF THE WORLD.

In the same country, my name couldnot be spoken in polite company. ;-)
Dec 31, 2008
just some minor correction.....Anurag !$%*!$% would'nt really have balked at being named that.
He probably would have been happy since that would mean he was born into a brahmin family - which is the upper class of Indian society. It is unfortunate but India is still fraught with the caste system though things are improving.

The closest equivalent I can give are the dynasties and old families of Europe and may be the relatively newer family names in the US. like the Rothschilds, Kennedys etc since there is not much of a caste system in the anglical world.

!$%*!$% is a fairly common Indian surname and most folks in India do not really make that association about dick and !$%* since we do not call a "dick" a dick in Hindi. We call it "Lund".

They do generally get a good laugh out of anyone with the word "Lund" in their name....typically Scandinavians.
Lund is penis in Hindi and that too in a very derogatory way.

Those who are exposed to the Americanized nick names (Dick is short for Richard etc) do wonder why they still continue to refer to Richard as Dick or a "dick" as a dick if it is such a common first name.

Same with John. What is the deal with calling clients of prostitutes as johns? Even toilets are called johns.!!!

Language is weird.

+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Dec 31, 2008
Just one catch :-)

Anyway, best wishes for 2009 to you Scott. Keep us all laughing :-)
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