Hardik Gopi (go pee)

Hugh G. Rection
Lotta !$%*!$%*!$% (common girl's name in SE Asia, means "something good")
Phyllis Steen
M. Soe
R. Knott
Harry P. Ness

(Sorry, that should read "UNending glee"...)

In my early school years we had a classmate named John Fuchs (pronounced Fyooks). Predictably, we all sat in suspenseful anticipation when it came time for roll to be called and it was a substitute teacher, a good 95% of the time the sub would mispronounce his surname as expected, to the classroom's ending glee.

Several years ago I was working at a convenience store on the north side of Paducah, Ky. One of our frequent shoppers owned a local fresh meat market, the gentleman's name was Dick Best. His listing in the local phone directory was Best, Dick Meats. He would wear tee shirts with his logo for Dick Bests' Old Towne Meat Market on the front, and of the back was his slogan " You May Beat Our Prices, But You Can't Beat Our Meat"... True Story.

"Jocelyn Elders" always made me think of little kids in the aisles of a church, jostlin' the elders. Robin Banks is another old favorite.

Cruel girl's names:

Anya Kneeze

Anita B. Gwahn

Oh man. The punchline is the name. Her name was Mrs. B-0-n-e-r

I read a similar blog post recently and wanted to share it with all:
http://kenlevine.blogspot.com/2008/07/boy-named-moxie-crimefighter-or-is-it_16.html

Better late than never.....

1. On a cold morning in Alberta, I was listening to the CBC. There were some announcement at the U of A. I can't remember what the deal was just that Chancellor Lois Hole had made the announcement. She was accompanied by her husband Harry.

2. One evening I walked into the living room to fun my wife near hysterics. After I calmed her down, she read a letter to the editor to me. It was a complaint about the sex items (edible undies) on display at the novelty shop San Fransico. Seemed like a reasonable complaint. The hysterics started up again as my wife read "Signed, Mrs. !$%*!$% I thought I'd either have to sediate her or perform CPR.

3. I went to school with a young man named Etan Siemen. How unfortunate.

I've heard about twins named Orangejello and Lemonjello. Seriously. So Sad.

Also, my dad tells of a man he used to know by L.B. Blue. Later, he discovered that LB stood for Lil' Boy. Can you imagine - Lil' Boy Blue? That poor man.

There is a prominent neurologist at Mayo Clinic in Minnesota whose name is Dr. Peter Dick. (OH, just in case it is P E T E R D I C K) I have been unable to determine why he is not a urologist.

Speaking of appropriate doctor names, it reminds me of the Krotty Foot Clinic in Fort Smith, Arkansas.

I went to school with a kid named Bud Weiser.

He was in trouble a lot too, so he was often paged to the principal's office.

"Bud Weiser to the office. Bud Weiser, to the office imeediately."

I once knew a girl named Aida Koch.

The possibilities for Richard seem to be almost endless.

I swear I actually had an art teacher named Dick Hertz. I really do think he went by Dick and not Richard, although this is going back some years. There's also someone on the local news named Dick Johnson, although that's just redundant.

My first job was working at a camp where a plaque on the wall of the lounge had the name Harry Mann III.

I had a friend in junior high with the name Rose Wilde. So during attendance it was Wilde, Rose.

My wife worked with a guy named Phil Hart. Email was just becoming popular and accounts were assigned by first initial and last name, so he become Phart for the rest of his career.

And that is precisely why we don't have a dog. Oh, and my wife is allergic to fur bearing animals.