Attaboy, Scott, break your arm patting yourself on the back for your thoughtfulness by not satirizing Microsoft. Don't feel any guilt about the thousands of slackers who will be turned down for their unemployment claims because they did not have Dilbert to cite in their argument that Vista (and not their web surfing) had everything to do with their dismissal from work.

So, completely unrelated, but I love self deprecating humor. I was catching up on the strips and when I got to the latest, about Dogbert's time management course, I got distracted. When I came back, the strip was front and center, but I couldn't figure out why in the hell Scott drew Dogbert on the stool with three hands, one pointing straight upwards with a Mickey Mouse style glove hand. I re-read the strip and the punchline a few times and things just weren't making sense. Then I moved my mouse and things did make sense.

So are you trying to tell us that after watching Nadal and Federer go at it at Wimbledon that you had no desire to run out and knock a few balls around on the grass? That you only play indoors where’s 72o, 30% humidity and the lights aren’t fluorescent?

I'm not outdoorsy either but I like nature. It certainly doesn't like me back. Pale-skinned (naturally, not cause by career, but my career doesn't help either), sensitive eyes and a naturally-sweet mosquito magnet.

I do like walking barefoot in the grass and watching my trees and shrubs grow nice and thick. But I have to fight it all year long: mowing, edging, watering, fertilizing, planting (flowers), !$%*!$%*! weed spraying/pulling, thatch removing, raking... Why can't "nature" in suburbia take care of itself like nature in the woods? Certainly cheaper to go see nature when I want to rather than spend big bucks on all the crap my lawn and landscaping need.

As anyone tried like the Brady Bunch and actually used AstroTurf (or any artificial grass) for their whole lawn?

Ghost writer's do get carried away. Does Scott have a five year old who is writing for him at times?

I'd love to see how Dilbert and his coworkers get on in Nature. My guess is that Dilbert would take more of Civilization with him than he left behind. Either that or he'd be reduced to eating bugs within five hours. Likely, both.

If you spend too much time inside your body developps inside-post significa,which means that your body slowly beacomes allergic to O2

Indoors is for when I'm an old lady. And lightning is so rare where I am, when it does actually happen it makes the front page of all the newspapers. Nice temps, beautiful ocean, fun places to hike and camp - gotta enjoy it before Exxon/Mobile buys it all up.

But for pasty tasty bug treats and lightning rods like Scott, you can get your nature jollies in the bio-dome. I promise not to knock on the glass too often. :)

One of my favorite phrases: "Disdain for the wilderness is what separates us from the animals."

I'm no tree hugger, but I do enjoy nature and the outdoors (in small helpings). I've had encounters with bears, coyotes and many, many rattlenakes - and none of these incidents left me feeling as insecure as I have in any number of well populated neighborhoods around Los Angeles.

BTW - I used to feel very much like you do about these things.

Nice one! :-)

I remember when our building heater broke - it got stuck on "High". The only thing the IT guy could do before we got someone to fix it a few days later, was to blast the A/C full power, to try to compensate :-)

Nature bites the big one. Bugs crawl around, worms slither, and I sweat like a !$%*! in church. (wonder if you will block out w h o r e?)

Everyone thinks I died, I bet? Scott hasn't posted my ONE comment since I retired and am using the ex-Marine's computer at home. Oh,well. Nobody wanted an update on my health problems, anyway. (Nothing has changed.)

Had to change my user name as the one I used at work was already taken.

Talk about nothing changing.......................man! Politics as usual. Who gives a rat's ass? (Will a s s be blocked out? Should I have said "back side"? This is so much pressure -- cleaning up my language is hard. Will h a r d be blocked out?)

Miss you all, but that's the way it goes. Bobby says "hi." BWAHAHAHAHA

Rita Mae

Well, I think your adversion to the outdoors is because you never had time to spend it outdoors. You were working all of those hours or taking classes and studying for your next exam. You probably don't watch the weather channel either. The sun shining outside doesn't affect your mood. You could probably live in Alaska in the dark most of the year or Seattle and London and the rain never bother you.
But the rest of us civilized people have this sense when the sun is shining or the moon is about to be full. We are truly affected by gray gloomy weather and long dark winter nights. I think some of us actually grow more hair when the moon is full. Warewolves, sortof.
I married someone like you. He has dark skin and never burns yet, avoids the sun year round. I call him Dracula as he prefers cloudy gray skies and thinks 75 degrees is hot. He hates to have the sun in his face. Of course, growing up in London as a network geek probably contributed to his adversion to the outdoors. He just finished his MBA so I intend to reintroduce him to the outdoors without overwhelming him too much. You might want to try a little dose to overcome your adversion too.
P.S. Where's Rita Mae? I know she retired at the end of May, but it's been 6 weeks.

I agree, Scott. Being outdoors is great when you're a kid and don't know any better, (and your mom doesn't want you inside all the time...), but as an adult it sucks. I'm no longer a Cub Scout, camping out with my friends thinking about how great it is to get away from our parents by sleeping on the ground and getting eaten alive by insects.

I like things such as A/C, indoor plumbing, cable TV, the Internet, and having a refrigerator just a few steps away. Yes, you can buy an expensive, energy gulping RV with all that stuff and go out in the woods, but my house has all that already and doesn't need gasoline. I have plenty of trees in the back yard, so do I need to go see different trees elsewhere? They all look alike to me...

Nature doesn't want you in it, either. Please stay indoors....

This is why Mars will never be terraformed: because it will be colonized by people like Scott. (And I think that's a good thing -- terraforming is probably kinda pricey.)

I used to be outdoorsy, but i got it out of my system when I was young. Now going outdoors means stepping out on to the deck and flipping the steaks.

Still no mention of the bathrooms? The bathrooms in Branson are legendary (according to my wife's family in Arkansas).

Is it anti-matter sunscreen?