If you have a round peg that doesn’t fit in a square hole, do you blame the peg or the hole? You probably blame neither. We don’t assign blame to inanimate objects. But you might have some questions about the person who provided you with these mismatched items and set you up to fail.

If a lion and a zebra show up at the same watering hole, and the lion kills the zebra, whose fault is that? Maybe you say the lion is at fault for doing the killing. Maybe you say the zebra should have chosen a safer watering hole. But in the end, you probably conclude that both animals acted according to their natures, so no one is to blame. However, if this is your local zoo, you might have some questions about who put the lions with the zebras in the same habitat.

Now consider human males. No doubt you have noticed an alarming trend in the news. Powerful men have been behaving badly, e.g. tweeting, raping, cheating, and being offensive to just about everyone in the entire world. The current view of such things is that the men are to blame for their own bad behavior. That seems right. Obviously we shouldn’t blame the victims. I think we all agree on that point. Blame and shame are society’s tools for keeping things under control.

The part that interests me is that society is organized in such a way that the natural instincts of men are shameful and criminal while the natural instincts of women are mostly legal and acceptable. In other words, men are born as round pegs in a society full of square holes. Whose fault is that? Do you blame the baby who didn’t ask to be born male? Or do you blame the society that brought him into the world, all round-pegged and turgid, and said, “Here’s your square hole”?

The way society is organized at the moment, we have no choice but to blame men for bad behavior. If we allowed men to act like unrestrained horny animals, all hell would break loose. All I’m saying is that society has evolved to keep males in a state of continuous unfulfilled urges, more commonly known as unhappiness. No one planned it that way. Things just drifted in that direction.

Consider Hugh Hefner. He had every benefit of being a single man, and yet he decided he needed to try marriage. Marriage didn’t work out, so he tried the single life again. That didn’t work out, so he planned to get married again, although reportedly the wedding just got called off. For Hef, being single didn’t work, and getting married didn’t work, at least not in the long run. Society didn’t offer him a round hole for his round peg. All it offered were unlimited square holes.

To be fair, if a man meets and marries the right woman, and she fulfills his needs, he might have no desire to tweet his meat to strangers. Everyone is different.  But in general, society is organized as a virtual prison for men’s natural desires. I don’t have a solution in mind. It’s a zero sum game. If men get everything they want, women lose, and vice versa. And there’s no real middle ground because that would look like tweeting a picture of your junk with your underpants still on. Some things just don’t have a compromise solution.

Long term, I think science will come up with a drug that keeps men chemically castrated for as long as they are on it. It sounds bad, but I suspect that if a man loses his urge for sex, he also doesn’t miss it. Men and women would also need a second drug that increases oxytocin levels in couples who want to bond.  Copulation will become extinct. Men who want to reproduce will stop taking the castration drug for a week, fill a few jars with sperm for artificial insemination, and go back on the castration pill.

That might sound to you like a horrible world. But the oxytocin would make us a society of huggers, and no one would be treated as a sex object. You’d have no rape, fewer divorces, stronger friendships, and a lot of other advantages. I think that’s where we’re headed in a few generations.

Rank Up Rank Down Votes:  -2580
  • Print
  • Share


Sort By:
-41 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 16, 2011

i actually agree with this. all those people saying that happiness is hard to get. Why? why should it be hard. man is programmed with urges that have helped him survive and procreate and fulfilling those needs (that come naturally and are a part of his evolution) should make him happy.

take what you want and give nothing back
-29 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 16, 2011
WoW. Holy "lets find new ways to antagonise the feminazis" Scottman. Has this particular Blog been given enough negative votes yet? Beautiful how so many people these days only believe in freedom of expression when the expression agrees with them.

Never mind, it's clear that the muddled shall inherit the earth. So, to the Gay Bar Scottman.
+16 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 16, 2011
This reads, in part, like a kind of "out there" expression of empathy with a man whose otherwise solid reputation and career was destroyed by public shaming over a stupid act that was never meant to be made public. Possibly motivated by recent experience with self-appointed internet morality police? Nothing like having your entire character and career defined by one act.

Personally, I still think steroids were involved. Why? Bare chest shots show muscle definition that is tough for a 40 something to maintain naturally. The testosterone boost could have pushed him over the edge of stupid, potentially career-ending risks. (Whether it *should* have been career-ending is another issue.)

Steroids are on my radar because one of my son's friends recently committed suicide. He'd been taking steroids and then stopped. That resulted in a sudden drop in testosterone below normal levels and led to serious depression. Athletes who have some guidance counter this effect either by tapering off the steroids, using antidepressants until your body's natural production restarts, or both. He was a teen who thought he was immune to the risks. Steroids do produce results. They also spike libido on the upswing, but because they suppress men's natural testosterone production, they create 4 week desert of depression when stopped.

Maybe AW wasn't taking steroids. Natural or chemically-enhanced – the results were the same. OTOH – my son's friend was taking them. He was a 4.0 student, class president, speech champion and had been accepted to his dream college – and I am shamelessly taking advantage of a controversial blog post that is likely getting lots of hits to help get his story out. Sue me.
+23 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 16, 2011
I greatly look forward to your future blog detailing your results and findings from your social experiment on manipulating the public's emotions with farcical postings.
-29 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 16, 2011
The number of downvotes is hilarious. Is reddit/r/manb*tches really so lame to think that downvoting a blog post will further their cause?
Jun 16, 2011
+3 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 16, 2011
You have pissed a lot of people off again. I love the way you just circled around taking pot shots on all genders and common biases, while offering weak complements in the next breath. Congrats!!

[Thank you. -- Scott]
+214 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 16, 2011
I am a male with a very healthy sexual drive as most males have. What I do NOT have is a desire to rape women... They are two completely different concepts and only a complete idiot would attemp to equate the two. I have no problems fulfilling my sexual appetite in a responsible manner that takes into consideration the feelings of others. I am socially mature enough to realize my action affect others and their action affect me and in order to get along with each other we HAVE go work together within the group. We have a natural drive to have sex, not a natural drive to cause suffering within the group.

Bite me.
Jun 16, 2011
Maybe we need to reshape society so it is neither square nor round so men and women get shafted equally.

Note all those things you listed as being bad would be equally as bad if women did them.
+123 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 16, 2011
"...society has evolved to keep males in a state of continuous unfulfilled urges, more commonly known as unhappiness."

scott, i'm disappointed. this is a pretty immature view - verging on whiny. society hasn't evolved to *keep* men unhappy. society has evolved to make happiness difficult to achieve. for everyone. happiness wouldn't be meaningful if everybody could achieve it instantly, simply by acting on whatever urges came naturally to them. males and females alike are expected to examine their inner selves and find a way to reconcile the instincts and urges they find there with a world full of people, in a way that allows them to avoid causing harm. yeah, dude, it's !$%*!$% difficult. many people never figure it out. but "as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else" seems like an extremely reasonable limitation to put on everybody's self-expression. (as a woman, it's nauseating to imagine a society in which men could freely act on their desire to rape me because they have a right to be happy.) we're all stuck here on this planet together, and if that's your idea of an unsolvable problem a la "round peg/square hole," then i'd suggest some kind of hermit-in-the-woods arrangement for you.
-6 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 16, 2011
Chemical castration has become more popular among convicted rapist the last decade. And from my own experience my guess is that creative men are more productive working on their on their !$%*!$%*!$%* machine (computer) after they have releaved themself. Also, the last month I've lost 2 kg dieting with the help of a diet pill that suppressed hunger and increases metabolism. So I think it might be true that we're heading in the direction of being better at creating better brain coctails. It sounds problematic but it's the whatever works principle.
Jun 16, 2011
The rate of people looking up "Turgid" on the Marion-Webster website has increased 30% since this blog post!
+64 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 16, 2011
Ah, Scott, being provocative again. But let's roll with it... So are you implying that women in Western society are generally happier than men? Because they can live out their natural inclinations and get praise for it? I don't think facts will bear this out, and therefore this whole entertaining blog post is undone. Unfulfilled desires frustrate us all.
-28 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 16, 2011
Ancient Greek society was set up more to cater to men's urges.
They had state prostitutes in Athens so young men could get all they wanted without compromising the honour of the bulk of the Athenian maidens.
The men tended to fool around while young and eventually marry when older - and to much younger women.
They also had a lot of fighting and politicking.
I don't think it's a coincidence that ancient Greece was the cradle of western civilization.
-71 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 16, 2011
All and each of those, who voted among -120: THIS IS A CARTOONIST BLOG. Scott Adams fools and toys around the ideas. What is wrong with you???
-5 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 16, 2011
There is already a book exploring this (and a movie based on the book) called 'the possibility of an island' by Michel Houellebecq
-6 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 16, 2011

The end of your post is something I think about all the time. This constant urge is hitting on me for years and is becoming tiresome. I've resisted it so far but my defenses are wearing thin and if I could just remove it, I'm sure I'd be much much much happier.

Crappy thinking maybe for some, but I'm not sure it's that crazy for many.
Jun 16, 2011
This blog has negative 117 votes.
Scott: is this your worst yet?
-5 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 16, 2011
cmcnels, you are very well conditioned.
-11 Rank Up Rank Down
Jun 16, 2011
What DilGal and a few others are missing is that religion and government and other social structures have developed in the last few hundred years, and that the thing Scott is describing here is something of the last two or three decades. So there is no contradiction.
Get the new Dilbert app!
Old Dilbert Blog