Home
Photos
Aug 14, 2008 General Nonsense |
I just saw the photos from my recent vacation. There were photos of me looking hungry while desperately wishing I were eating instead of posing in front of a table full of delicious food as it got cold and the flies attacked it. There were pictures of me looking at the camera instead of gazing at the breathtaking views behind me. There were pictures of me thirstily posing with my drink instead of drinking it. And there were pictures of me standing in unnatural positions while wishing I could be slouching or sitting. Ironically, we managed to capture all of the moments of the vacation that I wish hadn't happened. Everything that happened just before and just after the camera started flashing was great.

Being the only one in my marriage who dresses for efficiency over fashion, I usually get nominated to carry the camera and the cell phone in my voluminous pockets of my shorts. Add to that my wallet, keys, and maybe some sea shells and you can see the issue. The merchandise bangs against my leg every step. I feel like Rodney King jogging through LA during a hail storm.

For me, posing for pictures is the opposite of being on vacation because getting photographed is part of my job. This afternoon, for example, a photographer will be at my office taking pictures for several hours. When a lawyer goes on vacation he doesn't have to sue someone every time he walks past an interesting landmark. A dental hygienist doesn't have to clean any teeth every time the sunset looks pretty. But I have to pose for a picture, sometimes three. It doesn't seem fair.

One thing you don't want on your vacation is anyone telling you what to do, as in "Stand over there" and "Smile" and "Straighten your shirt so it doesn't look like a food baby." It's more than even Pinocchio would put up with.

I like having photos of my vacations, but there has to be a better way. My proposed solution involves buying stock photos of landmarks and using Photoshop to superimpose stock photos of me looking happy. It's not dishonest if I was actually at those landmarks, and both the landmark and I look exactly the way the photos suggest.

Am I wrong?
 
Rank Up Rank Down Votes:  +13
  • Print
  • Share
  • Share:

Comments

Sort By:
Aug 14, 2008
Why not just tell the photographer to take 5 pictures of you doing whatever it is you're doing without stopping to smile for the camera? Surely the candids would be better than the posing, and you wouldn't be interrupted.
 
 
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Aug 14, 2008
Here's my suggestion: while candidly-taken photos generally turn out best, if you feel the need for photos of you smiling while standing in front of landmarks, here's what I'd do. Take a photo of said landmark with no one in it, then photoshop in the stock photo of yourself smiling. I don't think it's quite honest to use stock photos of the landmark, since that's not necessarily how it looked when you were there (i.e. clouds, light quality, surrounding environment, background people, etc.). But if you take a photo of the landmark and shop in a photo of yourself smiling, I think that's a good compromise solution.
 
 
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Aug 14, 2008
My mom is one of those picture people too, and she wouldn't let me photoshop myself in. Now on the other hand, it turns out she has no problem having being photoshopped out of pictures. We had some pictures of beloved relatives who have passed away, and long forgotten boyfriends had gotten into the picture, poof, they were gone. I hope my company will use the same technology when I'm no longer working here.
 
 
Aug 14, 2008
I agree with Sondra, candid is the answer. But perhaps more to the point, technology is the answer.

What we need is camera's that can take high quality photos while still being small. I too can relate to the "efficiency over fashion" issue, but when the single device that replaces keys, cell phone, camera, credit cards, dental floss, and air mattress pump is invented, we will shed the localized leg thyroid problem and finally become fashionable while efficient.

I'm waiting....
 
 
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Aug 14, 2008
Was that last sentence a rip on the opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics?
 
 
Aug 14, 2008
Hmmm, guess either the website with the picture was blocked or all links are blocked. Well, if your want to see it then take my name, but a www before it and a DOT com after it and then add a slash and "family.jpg".

--KurtRoedeger
 
 
Aug 14, 2008
*Slap D Monkey

White shirt and blue jeans were our "family pictures". Link to the previously mentioned !$%*!$%*!$%*!$%*!$%*!$%*!$%*!$%*!$%*!$%*!$%*!$%*!$%*!$%*!$%*!$ of the innocent blocked, guess which one is my mother-in-law :).

--KurtRoedeger
 
 
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Aug 14, 2008
About carrying all the stuff, there are backpacks, shoulder bags, and the words, "No, thank you."

And the ad for Turtle Island seemed to indicate that there was no need for wallet and keys. That just leaves all her stuff. Buy her a fashionable tote. Or, better yet, take her shopping to pick out one she likes. She'll stop needing so much stuff when she has to carry it.
 
 
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Aug 14, 2008
I'm so sorry to hear that you apparently had the world's crappiest photographer.

I hope you reported this person to management. It is certain that they do not know this !$%*!$% behaved as if his/her job was the important part of your vacation. (Talk about egomania.)

A good candid photographer would have been unnoticed.
 
 
Aug 14, 2008
Your idea is perfectly acceptable to me, Scott. However, my wife would take complete offense to the concept. I tried using that logic for a round of family pictures we took. It was with HER side of the family and they wanted to do it at a beach 3.5 hours away from my house where they have a summer trailer. I'm not a beach person, so the prospect of being on the road for 7 hours and spending an hour getting sand in my shoes and other crevices held as much appeal as sticking my tenderbits in a can opener. I offered to photoshop myself into the pictures (which I'm quite good at) and was instantly denied. Apparently "being there" for the picture was important. My second offer was to send along a life size cardboard cutout of myself which she could then burn in effigy afterwards. ::sigh:: That wasn't allowed either. So, if you don't care about the pictures being 100% authentic and your Mrs. is more open minded, then go for it. In fact, PLEASE PLEASE do it. That way, when the next round of family pictures come up, I can point to you and say, "See, Scott Adams does it!" I'll even offer pro-bono photoshop work.

--KurtRoedeger
 
 
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Aug 14, 2008
You poor guy! you were used to living alone (freedom) for a long time, that's why it's hard to for you to adjust to the family life.
I'm always the camera carrier because I don't want to be in pictures.
My family members hate taking pictures too, we took less than 10/20 pictures on big trips to Europe and NY.
 
 
Aug 14, 2008
I agree that candid shots are better. And get rid of any that are not flattering to others. With your skills, you could probably touch up some things, too. Learn a few of the tricks the fashion magazine people use. Your wife will love you for it, and might even let you sleep inside when it rains.
 
 
Aug 14, 2008
Never pose for photos on vacation! Candid photos are the answer. It seems like everyone makes this same mistake when it comes to taking pictures... Staged pictures are not entertaining. They have no story.

When you are on vacation, pass the camera around to different family members and have them take pictures of whatever strikes them - candid photos, not staged. Adhere to this one rule: never pose for a photo; never ask anyone in your troupe to pose for a photo. Instead, photograph them doing whatever it is they're doing; capture the moment candidly. The best photographs are never staged - they are the capsules of a single moment in time; a slice of a larger story.

The great thing about candid photos is that there's always as story behind the photo. When you and your family go through the photos to remember the vacation, you'll find yourselves asking each other, "What were you looking at in this photo?" "What were you laughing at?" "Where did you take this picture?" The story will come out, more often than not, and it will bring back the memories of the fun stuff, which is what you're after.

 
 
Aug 14, 2008
Since you're loaded, what you should do is hire a photographer to stalk you with huge telephoto lenses while you're on vacation. That way, you get pictures of yourself having fun, without the stress of knowing that you're being photographed.
 
 
Aug 14, 2008
Why do I have a feeling that if you guys never took pictures during your vacations that you would be complaining that you never have pictures of these special moments? "Everybody has pictures of their vacations, why don't we?" you would say. Well you know why, cause you would complain and moan if you did, that's WHY! After reading your blog for almost a year now I just imagine your wife beaming hate-beams from her eyes at you on a regular basis. If you can't enjoy the moments you had from the pictures at least you can enjoy the contempt that they bring.
 
 
Aug 14, 2008
You should have slipped the photo processor guy a few bucks to swap your photos with some complete strangers who are much better looking than you. You'd be happy and the other couple would be happy too, because they'd have the pics of someone famous.
 
 
-1 Rank Up Rank Down
Aug 14, 2008
Hi Scott,

You get partial credit. Taking your own photos of a vacation is important. Keeping your own ugly mug out of these photos is also most important. For a couple of picture rich vacations, I have better pictures than any stock photos available. I have some amazing shots of Denali and some nice wild horse photos. The best ones contain no people whatsoever, especially myself. I do make sure to get a couple me and the wife pictures to establish that we were actually at said location.

My worst pictures are me with whatever fish I recently caught. On home waters no cameras are allowed on the boat. However vacation is a different thing, my wife wants pictures of everything. I make every fish look small. Take a picture of the fish alone, and it looks like some sort of world record contender. Same picture of me with the fish, King Kong holding a guppy.

Let’s see some of your photos.

dsg
 
 
Aug 14, 2008
I hate being in photos. I have mastered the art of looking completely awkward and about 20 pounds heavy in every photo at every angle. And I hate taking them too. So I often accidentally on purpose forget the camera when we go places. To top it off I spent the last three weekends getting married (to the same guy each weekend) and my god by the end I was ready to shove the camera where the sun don't shine on the taker. My cheeks still hurt.
 
 
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Aug 14, 2008
Any chance you'd post a few, select vacation pictures?

I'm a huge fan of awkward humor.
 
 
Aug 14, 2008
I agree completely. I've given up trying to get shots of me, instead I'll buy postcards and then just enjoy the moment rather than plan on someone spontaneously saying to me to 'smile, let me get you in this shot!', professionals take the postcard shots and I can't compete with them. And on vacation I, too, dress for comfort, not style, and don't need to be reminded of the clothing choices I made. I don't even need to photo shop myself into the picture.
 
 
 
Get the new Dilbert app!
Old Dilbert Blog