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I love pirates. I love their parrots, their wooden legs, their eye patches, and obviously their AAARGS! But I have never loved pirates more than the day they seized a fully laden supertanker off the coast of Somalia.

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/11/18/kenya.tanker.pirates/?iref=mpstoryview


We should have seen this coming. I blame Obama and his whole "Yes I can" philosophy. Suddenly even the pirates are thinking big. Six months ago these pirates were probably robbing convenience stores. After they saw Obama get elected president, they figured anything was possible.

The funny part is that they are probably right. No one is going to start shooting in the general direction of a supertanker (except pirates), and the pirates have an excellent track record for releasing hostages unharmed for a price. It looks like this scheme might work.

I wish I had seen the meeting where they first cooked up this supertanker plot. There must have been a whole lot of audacity of hope, and obviously some potent cannabis. I wonder if the other pirates laughed when one of them suggested the idea, or if it sounded like a good plan right from the start. And is there a Somalian pirate equivalent of the catch phrase "That's just crazy enough to work!"?

I have to wonder where this trend will stop. If you are hijacking supertankers, it can't be that much of a leap to complete the distribution chain and make some real money. Somewhere in Somalia a band of pirates is passing a bong and designing logos for their chain of gas stations. I can see it now: You get a free eye patch with every tank, and the price is always AAAARG!

Today only, all of your comments should incorporate AAAARG!

 
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0 Rank Up Rank Down
Nov 18, 2008
In a whacky tabacci filled room in Somalia....

So we have their Saudi oil... now we can go for a live sheep shipment and hold their new girlfriends as hostages too!

AAARGGH! AAARGGH!
 
 
+3 Rank Up Rank Down
Nov 18, 2008
You know what else is cool about pirates? They live in a "lair". It's official: see this headline from the Sydney Morning Herald here in Australia --
http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/saudi-supertanker-taken-to-somali-pirate-lair/2008/11/19/1226770486149.html

I would buy a lair to live in if there was one for sale, and I don't think I'm the only one. Someone could make a fortune if they developed a lair market. Sorry, I mean a lair mAAARRRRket.

 
 
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Nov 18, 2008
ye scallywags should cast ye peepers yonder: http://www.talklikeapirate.com/

it be been and gone this year alas.
hheeee-yarrrghhh!
 
 
Nov 18, 2008
It will be stopped when we get the best minds in the Western world working on it.

Of course, I'm thinking of those folks at the AAAARGonne National Lab.
 
 
Nov 18, 2008
yarrh saudi arabia is so rich it don't need a navy!
 
 
Nov 18, 2008
Who need hostages when you could probably sell the oil on the qt

for 100million!! ye-arrrrgh!!!!!

do we no any enormous country within sailing distance of a super tanker that really need oil right yearrrrgh!!!!!!!!!

which one of you is Kiera knightly tonight arrgh :(
 
 
Nov 18, 2008
AAAARG! I can't believe all dis talk about Pirates, and nothin bein said about the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Pastafarianism is the one true way! RAmen!
 
 
Nov 18, 2008
Pirate 1: OK, first we find a tank thatis riding low--that means its full oil. Then we board it, guns blazing, take the crew hostage, and sial off into the sunset.
Pirate 2: What we gonna do with tanker?
Pirate 1: Hold it hostage.
Pirate 2: And the oil?
Pirate 1: Hold it hostage.
Pirate2: So let's say they pay us off and we release the hostages. How do we make a smooth getaway from a super tanker?
Pirate 1: Hang on a sec... I'm coming down with stomache flu.... AAAARRRRGH... whew, that's better (sorry about your shoes)...you were saying?
 
 
Nov 18, 2008
Where this scenario ends is where every supertanker out there has a small army on it.

Which is probably what Blackwater, inc, is hoping for.
 
 
Nov 18, 2008
Get over it, Scott. Sure, Obama is going to tax your (fill in the blank) off, but you are acting like a total 'glass half full' person. Let's see a little positive thinking. Just think of it as a free colonoscopy. And remember, paying taxes is patriotic. So bend over, but bring a flaAARRGGGGHHHHHH.
 
 
-1 Rank Up Rank Down
Nov 18, 2008
[Well, first things first, then a shower and a shave. I shouldn't have had all those jalapenos last night, this might hurt.] "AAAAARG!"
 
 
+3 Rank Up Rank Down
Nov 18, 2008
How do pirates know they are pirates in a pre-ordained world?

With free will, they think, therefore they AAARRRGGG!
 
 
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Nov 18, 2008
How do pirates know they are pirates in a pre-ordained world?

With free will, they think, therefore they AAARRRGGG!
 
 
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Nov 18, 2008
How do pirates know they are pirates in a pre-ordained world?

They think, therefore they AAARRRGGG!
 
 
Nov 18, 2008
Yrrar.

Silence fore and aft! You'll be payin' attention ye dutch-built buggers or I'll have the hides off ye.

In 1998 a freighter lost power and colided with a shopping mall in New Olreans. It were an act of stupidity, when the parcel o' lubbers crewing the Bright Star shut down her engines accidentally, leaving it without power while pointed upstream.

The crew blew the horn while trying to start them again, but the mall crossed Bright Stars bows and refused to give way. The Bright Star was forced to ram the Mall.

If it were pirates we'd have taken the ship and likely the nearby casino boat and maybe the mall too. And then we'd have buried it all on a beach in a big wooden chest on an island shaped like a big, giant X.

Now back ta work, ye dogs. Haaaands to braces!

Yarrrrr.
 
 
+3 Rank Up Rank Down
Nov 18, 2008
Why are pirates cool?

Because they AAARGH!!!!!

I registered especially so I could post that - love the blog, and all your comics etc etc, thanks
 
 
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Nov 18, 2008
In answer to yesterday's question, it is obvious from looking at today's comments that intelligence is an illusion. AAAAAAARRRG!
 
 
Nov 18, 2008
obligitory "Dodgeball" (movie) quote:

YOU are NOT a PIRATE!!!
 
 
Nov 18, 2008
AAARRR(G) - Avast ye mateys - there be treasure in these waters...
http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/11/18/kenya.tanker.pirates/index.html
 
 
Nov 18, 2008
I wonder how much was paid for the Russian ship. Probably seemed like a good deal at the time.

Now the world continues to pay, and will continue to pay more and more. Arrrrrr!!!

I seriously doubt these pirates are smoking dope. Most certainly they're chewing qat. I don't think it keeps very well on a boat. Offer them qat and they may cut a cheap deal.
 
 
 
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