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A recent study found that the sound of expensive sports cars increases testosterone in both men and women, thus causing arousal. I didn’t believe it until I played the video of the Maserati, the most potent car they studied. Maybe it’s the placebo effect, but I did feel a surge of something.

http://blog.wired.com/cars/2008/09/weve-got-some-b.html 

This solved one of the great riddles of my life. Every summer a group of classic car enthusiasts gathers in my area to compare cars and whatnot. The odd thing I noticed is that the men are generally bearded, out of shape, and unattractive. But the women accompanying them are often very attractive. Now I know why. Apparently the sound of custom car engines is like catnip to hot chicks.

The great thing about the testosterone study is that you don’t need to buy an expensive car to get the benefits. You can just play a recording of the engine sounds and your partner will be ready for action. The problem is figuring out how to introduce a sports car engine noise into your romantic evening.

The sneakiest method I can think of would be to have some recorded street sounds on your home music system turned down low, so it sounds like it is coming from outside. Every once in awhile you could mutter something like “damn kids need to slow down” and then return your attention to your date, who by this time is shedding clothes like a trailer park in a tornado.

I also wonder what other sights, sounds, smells, and textures boost testosterone. Someone needs to study this more thoroughly. Obviously porn does the trick for men, and the smell of pumpkin pie, according to other studies. Women are more mysterious. I once saw a study where sensors were attached to shoppers. For men, there was no special change in their bodies except boredom. For women, the stereotype held, and the instrument panel lit up like a Christmas tree as soon as they entered a store. So I think the sound of shopping would boost the happy feeling for many women. I realize how sexist that sounds, but you can’t argue with junk science.

The perfect montage of sounds for a woman might be something along the lines of ocean waves, followed by the Maserati, expensive shoes on fine marble, mall noise, credit card swiping, ruffling of a shopping bag, and then the sound of wine pouring into a glass, with a fireplace crackling in the background. I’d also add the sound of a chainsaw somewhere in the distance, so the woman can imagine her personal lumberjack getting wood for the fire.


What do you think?

 
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Sep 8, 2008
Today your comic was excellent...great humour. I loved it.
 
 
-1 Rank Up Rank Down
Sep 8, 2008
I dont hink I never goona get why some people like Nascar!
I Just don't understand !
 
 
Sep 8, 2008
Damn you're good! Xbox and Playstation developers should make note of this. There are plenty of racing games out, but which ones have authentic exotic automobile sound effects? Sound like stuff for a phychology experiment.
 
 
Sep 8, 2008
Handling a gun apparently boosts testerone: http://scienceblogs.com/cognitivedaily/2008/08/testosterone_and_aggression_or_1.php

This may not be of much use in seducing women, except in Texas where handling firearms is a traditional part of the courting ritual.
 
 
Sep 8, 2008
Scott,
We are all basically just cavemen with nice clothes, ages and ages of struggling to survive, and then a few thousand years of "civilization". If you go back just a little while, anything that made a loud low rumbling sound like that was something that could kill you. In the modern caveman it's a 'be tough and stay alive' reflex, and in the cavewoman its probably along the lines of 'find a tough man to protect me'.
 
 
Sep 8, 2008
I hate loud engine noises, but that's just one girls' opinion.
 
 
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Sep 8, 2008
Some people need to let their creative side of themselfs flow and know that its us, the readers, that are continuing Scott Adams work by showing there is a funny in the office.

What i like most of all is the animations of Dilbert, coming from someone who is a fan of the TV series, is a good way of keeping the life-like side of Dilbert.
 
 
Sep 8, 2008
My wife (who loves quasi-psychology) told me when we were dating that a study stated that men are aroused by the candy "Mike & Ike". I personally can't stand them, and don't know any man who's a big fan. Meanwhile, she eats Hot Tamales by the bagful, and I'm not getting any action
 
 
Sep 8, 2008
You are correct.


oooooooo.....big font........
 
 
Sep 8, 2008
[I once saw a study where sensors were attached to shoppers. For men, there was no special change in their bodies except boredom. For women, the stereotype held, and the instrument panel lit up like a Christmas tree as soon as they entered a store. ]

Let me guess, it was a clothing / department store? For men, send them to Radio Shack, Microcenter, or Best Buy or something. I guarantee that you'll get different results.
 
 
Sep 8, 2008
As a woman I have to say, powerful sports car or the sound of a Harley.
dilgal, "clean sheets go a long way..." LOL
 
 
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Sep 8, 2008
I spend my time not making the sounds and smells that do not work. The wrong combo will kill a moment faster than a tornado stripping a trailer.

On a side note, beware, the Hadron collider fires up Wednesday.
 
 
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Sep 8, 2008
For the first time in my life, I understand why some people can like Nascar.
 
 
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Sep 8, 2008
The sound of shopping does make women feel happy, but not aroused. It would take lots of work to make women roused. Men dont need any help, they want it all the times.
I wonder why some doctors/biologists would work on such thing as viagra instead of curing diseases.
Those are some of the bad side effects of a free market. The US should consider going socialist so the government can control the black market.


 
 
Sep 8, 2008
Been married 11 years, it is ALWAYS a surprise to me when it happens, and there never seems to be a consistent anything to why it does...I can't begin to try to figure out just ONE woman, but, by all means, you go ahead and try to figure out all women, I eagerly await your research;-)
 
 
0 Rank Up Rank Down
Sep 8, 2008
Correlation ain't causality. Guys with classic cars probably also have lots of cash floating around, which might make them more attractive in other ways. The car is just a by-product.
 
 
+1 Rank Up Rank Down
Sep 8, 2008
Maserati engine noise ringtone.
 
 
Sep 8, 2008
I haven't decided.... whether you are either ON TO something... or just ON something!

Very interesting!
 
 
Sep 8, 2008
Smell supposedly has the greatest emotional impact (according to junk science). So throw in the scent of fresh cut wood with the chainsaw sound and the lumberjack really gets play.

Or better yet, the fireman angle is pretty powerful. Actually having a fire in the fireplace... bingo.
 
 
Sep 8, 2008
It's easier just to get each other drunk.

I know there are a bunch of things that impact testosterone, and strange ways in which it will increase or decrease your chances of "hooking up". For instance, an action flick increases testosterone, but probably won't get you laid while watching with your girl. However alcohol significantly decreases your testosterone, but probably increases your chances of getting laid. Personally I think the most successful method is make a full day out of it.

Shopping then dinner followed by pumpkin pie for the guy, chocolate overload for the girl, a good action flick, and then a stop at the bar. Maybe at home then a game of dress-up with the guy as a policeman and the girl as the sexy librarian. Or whatever floats your boats.
 
 
 
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