Goal- to spend less time wasting my life on Dilbert.
Idiot: You

Thank you, & goodnight.

Thanks for pointing that out Twyr... kinda shows how big an idiot I really am doesn't it! Damn...

Tutu, what part of "excluding yourself" don't you understand?

Goal: To get my weight down to an acceptable level to help get my hypertension under control

Idiot: Me and my "see-food" diet, lack of self control and trust in modern medicines to keep me from exploding! My eternal optimism in the saying "Id rather be fat and happy, than thin and hungry". ME, 'shen jing bing' as they say in China!

I could balme the idiots that provide the tasty morsels to me and the millions of obese people, or the advertising companies that tempt us or cute waitress who says 'go on, one more beer won't hurt!"...

...but in the end the only idiot is me.

Goal: live somewhere nice with my girlfriend.
Idiot: pretty much all governments, specifically their immigration departments. This isn't just "idiots, getting in my way", it's also "idiots, I am pretty much the perfect immigrant, I use close to no government services and carry an income with me, so I would be adding tax revenue to any country that would have me, without even taking up a job-slot." (Okay, I'm not quite the perfect immigrant - most countries would accept me if the income was ten times as much, after all.)

I can't respond because I am by far the biggest obstacle to my own success.

Goal: My own private island in a breezy tropical setting

Idiot: All the other greedy bastards out there who are making all the money, keeping this greedy bastard separated from his piece of the pie.

(I am the primary idiot in this scenario, because I cannot come up with an idea that will make a fortune)

So many idiots, so little time.

Goal: run my transportation company so I make money, my drivers make money, and the customers get top-notch service.
Idiot: I nominate the fedora-wearing little weasel who blew in from HQ to announce that my company was making too much money from his company (his position is salaried, no stock options, whereas mine is owner). He ignored all evidence, rational argument, and basic logic, from everyone including his own manager, and cut our contract by over 20% before disappearing back to HQ. He's now paying a different company about five times what he used to pay us for the same deliveries, except with poor service. Excellent cost-cutting strategy!

Same work, less pay, after 8 years of excellent service--what a deal! And I don't want to tell him what an a$$hat he is because I have 14 drivers with their own mortgages to pay, and they deserve to keep their jobs. Aaargh. The local manager agrees with us but is handcuffed by HQ. I'm sympathetic to his plight, but far more so to my own.

But when I take my vengeance, as I surely will once I have my drivers situated, it will be swift and merciless. Bwahahahahaha!

Goal: To be happy
ID-10T Errors:
The person who cut me off this morning while driving to work because they didn't see any of the signs that said lane ends ahead. I don't know if this was the same person who has been doing this to me at least once a week for the past 4 years, but it may have been.
The customer who wants their project finished when he gets back from vacation but won't answer emails or phone calls that are vital to the completion of the project while on vacation.
The person in front of me at the self-serve check out line who as 50 items when I have 2. They have never used the self-serve check out line before and then pays with $1 bills.
My local cable company who changes channel locations every month so I constantly have to re-program my TV and can't find the shows I want to watch on Discovery, History, Travel, BBCA channels. But I can find all the crappy reality TV on the non-cable, broadcast TV stations because they never move.
Car companies in the US who won't bring the affordable 50MPG diesel cars into the states even though they are available in Europe. This also is why I still have the car I am driving now because I can't find a car I like better then this for a reasonable price. The ones that have nicer interiors are under powered and look like a jelly bean, the ones that have power have bad interiors (no leg or trunk room).
My girlfriend who doesn't understand that sometimes I just want to veg out, not go out.

Certainly not my *biggest* goal:

Goal: To finish filing my boss' paperwork.

Idiot: My boss, who constantly interrupts me with trivialities, re-reminders and queries about paperwork I've already given him. For example, if he wants me to draft a letter for him, he will leave me a voicemail, an e-mail, write a sticky note, in addition to telling me in the first place *and* dropping by my desk to make sure I got his messages. I have never failed to complete these tasks to warrant so many reminders, yet he insists on wasting his time and mine to repeatedly remind me.

Because of the nature of the files, and his personal (ridiculously convoluted) preferred system of filing, I need uninterrupted hours to file even a small portion of it. I am currently over a year behind in filing, all because I can't get more than 10 minutes of free time to work on it at any given time. Now, due to the economy, he won't even be taking a long vacation this summer, which was part of my "catch up" strategy. This forces me to work weekends to get it done, which impedes other goals like planning my wedding and working on my book idea.

Note: he is a very nice boss who is quite lenient and friendly, smart about his work and good to everyone. He simply completely misunderstands the concept of "time management".

My last post was missing stuff. Here's the complete post:
Sorry about my last post, I think it needs clarification.
Joke:
noun
1. a humorous anecdote or remark intended to provoke laughter;
2. activity characterized by good humor
3. a ludicrous or grotesque act done for fun and amusement
4. a triviality not to be taken seriously;

verb

1. activity characterized by good humor
Take note of #4 under "Nouns"

Sorry about my last post, I think it needs clarification.
noun

1. a humorous anecdote or remark intended to provoke laughter;
2. activity characterized by good humor
3. a ludicrous or grotesque act done for fun and amusement
4. a triviality not to be taken seriously;

verb

1. activity characterized by good humor
2. activity characterized by good humor
Take note of #4 under "Nouns"

Isn't it glorious how I get marked down for agreeing with a commenter

Goal: to refrain from posting stupid comments on a popular blog.
Idiot: ....D'oh!!!

goal: finish online high school courses with good grades.

idiots: my parents who insist on checking over every assignment; even though every time this happens, they either have no knowlege of the material, all their knowlege is obsolete, or when checking over the math, they make a mis-calculation when checking it and then say that I got it wrong.

solution: every time I do an assignment, I make 2 copies, one of which is a decoy. They screw up the decoy, and then I turn in the other copy. This way, no matter how much my parents screw up the assignment, the teacher still gets the untampered version.

Flawed Question. The idiot is ALWAYS yourself. Reference "The Prisoner" (Google it if necessary)

Rocky, whose goal is simply to live out his life in quiet desperation, um, I mean happiness.

goal: design/implement bigger/better idiot-proof systems

idiot: universe - keeps upgrading the idiots faster than I can upgrade the infrastructure...

Goal: To become the undisputed ruler of the Earth.
Idiot: Uhhh... Everyone