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I spent the past week in Fiji with my wife, on Turtle Island. http://www.turtlefiji.com/, for what was our extremely belated honeymoon. It's a 500 acre island with about 100 staff and generally no more than 20 guests. At one point last week there were only eight guests, but that was unusual.

The experience is indescribable. There is no TV, no BlackBerry signal on most of the island, and no Internet unless you borrow some time on the gift shop computer. Each couple can book an entire private beach, complete with picnic lunch, almost any day you want. And these are no ordinary beaches. Any one of the several choices is the best beach you have ever seen. In fact, the movie Blue Lagoon was shot on this island. By the second day, your regular life becomes a faint memory. You are completely immersed.

The temperature hovered about 80 degrees and it was sunny every day. Apparently that is normal. The water was warm, clear and blue, and you could walk a hundred yards into the ocean before the water level was over your head. The sand was perfect, and never too hot on your feet. You can go barefoot from the minute the seaplane lands to the minute you head home. I am not exaggerating when I say it felt like I was in some sort of "Total Recall" simulated vacation where everything was too good to be real.

The staff memorizes the names of all guests, and you are on a first name basis from the moment you arrive. Every time we saw one of the Turtle Island staff, from any distance, they greeted us with the traditional "bula," huge smiles, and often our first names. The first day it seems freaky. By the end of the week you feel like family.

The guests eat most meals at a common table, on the beach, feet in the sand.  Everyone is extra friendly because there are so few of you in this shared experience, and you are all relaxed and happy. Somehow the physical beauty of the island makes everyone a better person. And the staff is so genuinely happy and warm that it rubs off on you. No kids are allowed on the island, except for a few "family weeks" each year. Our week was mostly honeymooners, anniversary celebrants, and couples who hoped to be married soon.

Each guest cabin (called a bure) has a dedicated "mama" who literally acts as your mom while you are on the island. She answers all your questions, arranges your picnic lunches on the beach, does your laundry every night, and cleans your room. If you want something, you just ask your mama. Our mama, Adi, was amazing. She made sure I got my vegetarian meals, and was our personal paparazzi. At the end she gave us a scrapbook she made with the photos she took during the week.

One of the guests reported seeing a couple that was about to leave the island, sitting on the beach weeping. I didn't understand that until it was our turn to leave. We wept too.

Best vacation ever. Now back to work.
 
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User Name: listo Sep 17, 2008
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It sounds like paradise, specially the fact that there are no children.
But aren't there too many mamas around? Is it still possible to get laid on the beach?

Anyway, anyone reporting such lovely hollidays would sound hateful but you :)
 
 
User Name: Phantom II Aug 15, 2008
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Wow. What a wonderful honeymoon. You are blessed to be able to have had such a wonderful time. I'm sure this trip was something you'll remember forever.

Now, back to work!
 
 
User Name: snappybob Aug 14, 2008
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That place looks great. Our 30th is coming up in October. Too bad I'm not rich. Scott, would you be interested in adopting a 55 year old bald guy. Ho yeah, and his wife.
 
 
User Name: Leora Aug 14, 2008
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Cheapskate.
Should have rented the entire island. It's only $300 000.
 
 
User Name: lysis Aug 14, 2008
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Well it's no wonder why everyone treats you like family there. $1,941 a night? Cheese and rice, Scott! I am trying to not spend that much money for my entire honey moon!!!!

*sigh* if only I did something that paid better than being an IT Systems Administrator . . . . in Cleveland, OH . . . .
 
 
User Name: rgluch Aug 13, 2008
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Did they play harps a lot?
 
 
User Name: ScottyLove Aug 13, 2008
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Thanks for making me feel like a total loser and worst husband on the planet Scott. I just took my lovely bride of 20 years to Niagara Falls for our anniversary thinking it was the most romantic place on earth. I guess I'm living in the past again as we pushed through throngs of strollers and running teenagers for a week whilst standing in long lines to get a waffle cone for 5 bucks across the street from the WWE PileDriver thrill ride.

We did eventually stumble upon Niagara on the Lake which was quite nice. The wineries were fantastic as well. In the end, we had a good time... but no weeping involved. Turtle Island it is for number 25...
 
 
User Name: Boozeheimer Aug 13, 2008
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Dear Scott,
Great to read that you had such a good time in paradise! Actually I was getting a bit worried about the long "silence" without prior warning. I have sent you an e-mail yesterday with a link to the story on Kangaroos helping to save the planet. You might find that interesting.
Best wishes,
A.
 
 
User Name: Muppet Aug 13, 2008
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One can totally understand the 'post vacation blues' after a holiday like that.
My post vacation blues are reading about yours and comparing them to mine. Express by holiday inn, wet rainy cold weather that I didn't pack for, bloody screaming kids every single place we went and getting the flu to boot.
Sucks to be me.
Congrats that your wife finally got you out of the 'office' box and on a honeymoon. She must be extremely patient. You don't deserve her.
 
 
User Name: nickersond Aug 13, 2008
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Glad you had a good time.

I'd be freaked out by all the constant attention, I need to get away from humans to relax.
 
 
User Name: ortelius Aug 13, 2008
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Believe or not, but such holiday seems horrible to me. I prefer to care about myself, not to be in care of somebody else. I even prefer to prepare my coffee in office myself (even I have an assistant, who could do it).
 
 
User Name: Sondra Aug 13, 2008
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Congratulations!
 
 
User Name: lmonasterio Aug 13, 2008
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You deserve each moment there! Congratulations!
 
 
User Name: KevinKunreuther Aug 12, 2008
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I love reading about that honeymoon. Simple. No hassles. Every whim catered.

What did I do on my summer vacation?
Evacuate feral cats and trap rats on an uninhabited island (Sarigan) to make it safe for tropical birds with colorful feathers that make humans go "ooh" and "aaahhh". The project leader was an angry gay male who was pissed at me for my frankness, insubordination and ability to get some with all the other members (all female) of the project. I almost led an insurrection when after five days, I said the whole idea was stupid. I suggested it would be better to leave the cats alone and let them feed on the rats. What about the birds, asked Captain Gay. I answered that the birds he wanted to introduce on the island are not natural inhabitants, and if their ancestors were, then they left for a damn good reason. I recommended if you're gonna' introduce a new bird species to the island, you can't go wrong with chicken. They breed like bunnies, they adapt well to almost any environment and when humans get shipwrecked on the island now and again, they'll be plenty of free roaming Sunday dinners running around. Then Cappy Gay retorts, well, what if your Robinson Crusoe is vegan? Easy, I reply, the vegan ignores the chicks and starts looking for some hard to find nuts - kinda' like right now! Safe to say, he threw the chair at me like a very non-athletically inclined prepubescent female, thus missing me by a good six yards, thus inciting the very athletically inclined post-pubescent adult females whom I had recently bedded to come to my aid and gang on him rather viciously. After "another incident" that had more to do with fear of rat rabies than a scaled down re-enactment of The Mutiny on The Bounty led to an evacuation, I "recovered" in Saipan, then almost missed seeing the solar eclipse in Novosibirsk, Russia (threat of rain but sun broke through clouds in a nick of time to be winked out by the moon) and popped over to Kazakhstan (not that bad a place) where after drinking with locals, I accidentally caused a commotion in the lobby of the hotel where I was staying (something about supporting bringing future Summer Games to Astana - I was in favor, it's a beautiful city, very modern), then quietly told it was time to go home - NOW!

An adventure? Yes! But I would rather be waited on hand and foot, like Scott and the missus
 
 
User Name: Treetrunk123 Aug 12, 2008
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Scott, you should visit the Appalachian Mountains. Every season has its highlights. Any of the mountain towns in the Carolinas will do. I dream of having a house up in the mountains or in one of the foothills.

Fire@will, I'm so sorry to hear your story. Did you cry immediately after your honeymoon, because of the end of the honeymoon, or because you realized what you were into?
 
 
User Name: ctann Aug 12, 2008
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Chris Tann: LAWNMOWER MAN.

Good call Scott. My wife and I honeymooned on Vatulele last year, which sunds very similar - simply amazing, without doubt the best vacation ever.

Bula!
 
 
User Name: mikedcasey Aug 12, 2008
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You've spent your whole life working, why not take plenty of vacations? :)

We'll miss you, but we can deal. Take care of yourself first.
 
 
User Name: menetekel Aug 12, 2008
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I would love to travel there. I think I'm going to work hard and do just that.

-Mene Tekel
mandatorychaos.blogspot.com
 
 
User Name: jeszjesz Aug 12, 2008
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Imagine if everyone was nice to each other all the time. Makes we want to cry too.
 
 
User Name: SamThornton Aug 12, 2008
-2 Rank Up Rank Down
Sounds like a perfect place to run a Ponzi scheme.
 
 
 

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