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The hardest part about writing is capturing your own (or someone else's) inner thoughts. For example, if I ask you to tell me something funny or frustrating about your job, you'd give me tales of coworkers eating your food from the break room fridge, or tell me your boss is incompetent. But those aren't thoughts, just observations. We seem to store memories in terms of actions and some broad emotions, but not thoughts. And it is the thoughts you generally don't voice that make writing interesting.


Let's test this. In the comments section, tell me what you were DOING immediately before reading this blog, and also tell me what you were THINKING about while you did it. If you can do both of those things, you are halfway to being an interesting and humorous writer.


For example, "I was answering an e-mail from my coworker Karl while thinking he won't understand my answer because he has an unusually small head that probably can't hold much of a hat much less a brain."


Your turn.

 
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May 13, 2008
Before I was doing this, I was watching Cash Cab. The thought I had was "They should ask 'How dumb are you guys?'" that would really stump them.
 
 
May 13, 2008
I had been reading my "my.yahoo" page and glanced at my horoscope for the day. I was thinking how it was strange that it's always possible to rationalize what's written into something applicable to your life...and that it's generally a helpful push to do something different. I was contemplating how I was going to take today's advice to heart and apply it, since it really seemed to fit an actual situation I have going on these days. I don't believe in any "science" of horoscopes bit find them an interesting psychological phenomenon.
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was thinking that I should start a blog with interesting content with the intent of turning it into a best selling book. but then when that idea failed horribily, I'd write a blog and ask people to submit clever stories so I could generate a little bit of free creative magic.

 
 
May 13, 2008
Immediately before reading this blog, I was checking my e-mail for the registration confirmation for the Dilbert website.

My thoughts were, "Gee, it's taking an awfully long time. Just how long does it take for the registration to go to Elbonia, and for the e-mail to travel back to the U.S.? If I don't check those silly little boxes about the daily strip and the newsletter, will I continue to receive them? If I do check those silly little boxes, will the Elbonian programmer catch the fact that I already get them so that I'll only get one instance of each, or will I now get two instances of each? Or were the design requirements so remarkably Managerized such that a second instance of those items will inexplicably result in a total disabling of them? And, most important, why am I bothering with all this nonsense when it is time to head home for dinner?"

And now, for my next action.... I'm heading home for dinner, with thoughts of, "TimetoeattimetoeatTIMEtoEATtimetoEAT!!!" Have a delightful evening!
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was just blowing my nose and thinking "man, I hate it when other people blow their noses really loud. They're so obnoxious. Why can't they just do that in private? Thank god I'm all alone... all alone... ALL ALONE..." and, yes, it totally echoed like that.
 
 
0 Rank Up Rank Down
May 13, 2008
I was reading about the antics at the latest school board meeting. Apparently several coaches are being accused of abusing kids. I was wondering how long it would take until it went national.
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was printing out a document for my wife, searching for my Dilbert bookmark and thinking: have they fixed all the annoyances on the Dilbert site yet which they've ported to the blog site or am I going to get all annoyed again? Then I find that the new site has forgotten my user name... Sigh. There are some OK features (voting) and good ones (colour): just a shame it wasn't properly tested before launch.
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was wiping down the top of my desk because I was tired of looking at the coffee ring left from my cup, then I Googled Captain Sig from Deadliest Catch...I wish he'd come whisk me off to his boat...all of this to avoid working on redesigning my company's website.
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was googling a friend-of-a-friend and up came a nice rags-to-riches story about a poor, fatherless kid who grew up to become a DJ, eventually building and selling a billion dollar radio station empire.

Hmm... that means this weekend he'll be the richest guy ever to sleep-over at my house. I hope he likes being treated like a regular guy, because I certainly don't intend to treat him any other way. We will, after all, be going with friends to a nearby Blues Fest -- and don't bluesmen hop frieght trains, share cheap whiskey and pass out on stranger's couches? It would be a mistake to put on airs or to act like I was in the presence of royalty. But I can't be condescending, either. Damn, I wish I hadn't googled him! Not another thought about it!!
 
 
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May 13, 2008
I was testing the video game I'm working on, and thinking about whether or not to reveal the bug I had just found (or to sit on it for a while), because if I didn't report it JUST yet, I could exploit it for a while and have a leg up against my co-workers during our semi-daily play sessions.
 
 
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May 13, 2008
I was looking at someone's blog about different NHL goalie masks, complete with pictures. I was thinking, "Why would someone want to put NASCAR all over their head"? Or Garth Brooks. I think I'd want something scary, like a skull or some wildcat with a wide-open mouth and fangs. But now I think Catbert would be good, too. Pure feline evil can be pretty scary.
 
 
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May 13, 2008
I was just thinking that I only have two more hours to stay at work and how I am going to occupy that time without getting caught surfing the web.
 
 
-1 Rank Up Rank Down
May 13, 2008
I was just thinking that I only have two more hours to stay at work and how I am going to occupy that time without getting caught surfing the web.
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was looking over a PowerPoint presentation for a meeting I have next week. I was thinking that there was very little chance that the person I am presenting with understood my instructions for the meeting. Our product can do a lot of different things, so you have to be strategic about what you talk about. We are presenting to a very specific group of people, mostly accountants, so if we present the right thing, the meeting will be very successful. If we present the wrong things, things that are interesting to us but not to accountants, then the meeting will be a failure. I was thinking that there is a good chance we will miss that mark because I didn't explain that well enough to the person I am presenting with.
 
 
May 13, 2008
unfortunately, i was just watching at a lackadaisy artwork, and all my thoughts where observational right there.

of course that could mean I am an idiot, but i'm thinking (now) that not necesarilly thinking all the time makes you smart; it'd be like talking all the time. you need to get some input.

now again, i'm thinking that that's what a dumb people would say... had you ever met a self-aware fool?
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was watching animated dilbert cartoons and I was thinking, "Why did they cast a black guy as the voice of dogbert?"
 
 
May 13, 2008
I was on a conference call with a few different countries. I was thinking about how stupid the project manager sounds when he says "uuuuuhhhhmmmmm" every two seconds, and I wanted to punch him in the mouth as hard as I can. At least then he'd have a reason for sounding that way.
 
 
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May 13, 2008
I was sitting in my underwear, thoughtfully drumming on my mouse, and thinking (somewhat groggily), "would 'diarrhea' be a believable excuse for sleeping through my 1pm Intro to Golf class?"
 
 
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May 13, 2008
I was just sitting in my strange mesh chair, the material of which I've never been able to identify, updating a file in my government computer. But inside, I was thinking about starting law school in another state in August, and thus, I'm a roiling morass of conflicting emotions. It's an internal gurgling, a seemingly unending blooping that slithers around your abdomen, raising unarticulated and unanswerable questions. It's kind of like being on a roller coaster that's making a lot of unwelcome creaking and groaning noises as you get whipped around.

But then, I have a hard time choosing a meal at Denny's, too.
 
 
-1 Rank Up Rank Down
May 13, 2008
I was looking at a picture of a baby cow and thinking "mmm, Whopper Jr."
 
 
 
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