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Alice Is Highest Paid Engineer

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Alice Is Highest Paid Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #sexism, #Women, #discrimination, #wages, #money, #salary, #violence

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Alice: I'm the highest-paid engineer in the department now. Dilbert: Does it have anything to do with those scissors, the mallet, and your reputation for violence? Alice: Would you ask a man that question? Dilbert: Gaaa!!! It's like a super-power!

Dilbert And Alice Add Features

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Dilbert And Alice Add Features - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #simplicity, #engineers, #complication, #complicated, #coffee, #mug, #overthinking

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Wally: Our boss asked me to totally ruin my double-handled coffee mug invention by adding features. I am asking each of you to suppress your engineering impulses just this one time and let this perfect product stay perfect. Dilbert: It would be perfect if it had wi-fi and a projection keyboard. Alice: Maybe add some health sensors and GPS.

How Alice Can Disagree

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How Alice Can Disagree - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Opinion, #argument, #disagreement, #open-minded, #dissenting opinion, #sincerity

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Alice: Is there any way to disagree with your new strategy without making you angry? Boss: Blah blah I value all opinions. Blah blah open door policy. Blah blah dissenting opinions are good. Alice: None of that sounded sincere. Boss: Nailed it.

Alice Uses Social Media

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Alice Uses Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #social media, #twitter, #careers, #competition, #deception, #trick, #flame, #internet

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Alice: Well, Ted, it looks like you and I are competing for the same promotion. My plan is to use social media to make you look bad. Catbert: I fired Ted for trash-talking you on Twitter. Alice: I don't have a social media account and it still works!

Alice Disposes Of Excess Robot Inventory

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Alice Disposes Of Excess Robot Inventory - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #destruction, #anger, #therapy, #catharsis, #robot

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Boss: I want you to get rid of that 3-D printed robot that looks and acts like me. Dilbert: No problem. Alice takes care of all the excess robot inventory. Alice: I don't always have passion for my work, but today is looking good.

Alice Can Be Disrespectful

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Alice Can Be Disrespectful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #mocking, #frustration, #power, #helpless

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Boss: Alice mocked me in a meeting and I didn't react. Now she thinks she has the right to be disrespectful all the time. Catbert: You can't afford to lose a top engineer. Just wait it out and she will get tired of it. Alice: Sproink! Look what happens when you tell a lie! Boss: Hold... hold...

Alice Sets Precedent

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Alice Sets Precedent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2015's comic on:


Tags #power, #exploitation, #frustration, #helpless, #mocking, #teasing, #cruelty

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Alice: I insulted our boss and he didn't react. The precedent has been set. I plan to test the limits of this unexpected employee benefit. What's up, idiot? Boss: Must... not... fire... good engineers.

Alice Attracts Wrong Guys

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Alice Attracts Wrong Guys - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #stalk, #stalker, #stalking, #dating, #drone, #spying, #spy

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Alice: I have a history of dating men who become stalkers. But I have a good feeling about this new guy. He shows no stalker tendencies at all. Dilbert: What's he do for a living? Alice: Aerial photography using drones.

Alice Breaks Up With Boyfriend

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 Alice Breaks Up With Boyfriend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2015's comic on:


Tags #breakup, #dating, #breaking up, #drone, #stalking, #follow, #spying, #attention

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Alice: I'm breaking up with you because you don't give me enough attention. All you care about is your stupid aerial photography hobby. I wish you the best. That felt like a clean break.

Alice Should Network With Men

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Alice Should Network With Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #catch-22, #sexism, #Women, #sexist, #attraction, #success, #glass ceiling

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CEO: Alice, the best way to break the glass ceiling is to do more networking with male co-workers. Alice: Can we talk about this over lunch? CEO: Wow. You are so into me.