Search Results for "abuse"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #ad agency, #dogberts, #new slogan, #essence, #captures, #we abuse employees, #pass savings, #squalid cubicles, #wear that shirt

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Ad Agency Dogbert: Ive developed a new slogan that captures the essence of those company. "we abuse our employess and pass the savings to you" We'll film actual employees in their squalid cubicles. The boss: Wear that shirt

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 1997's comic on:


Tags #training course, #night, #won't miss work, #immortal abuse, #mutual investment, #fist of death, #vending machines

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands behind Alice's desk and says, "I'm sending you to a training course that runs at night so you won't miss any work." The Boss continues, "It might seem like an immoral abuse of my power, but I like to call it 'a mutual investment in your career.'" Alice clenches her teeth and thinks, "Must . . . Control . . . Fist . . . Of . . . Death . . ." The Boss says, "And they have vending machines if you get hungry!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #abuse people, #reduce turnover, #job titles, #convicted felon

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert, the Evil H.R. Director, sits at his desk. He thinks, "I can't abuse people if they quit the company. I'd better find a way to reduce turnover." Catbert types into his PC, "All job titles will be changed as follows..." Wally stares at his computer screen and says, "My new title is... "Convicted Felon." Dilbert says, "That's look good on the ol' resume."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 1997's comic on:


Tags #old job, #network systems, #asminstrator, #reckless abuse, #power, #new ethernet card, #solve problem, #big pile, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dilbert eats potato chips. Dogbert announces, "I'm going back to my old job as a network systems administrator." Dilbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert offers Dogbert some chips as Dogbert says, "I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power." Asok the Intern sits at his computer and looks at Dogbert who is waving an ethernet card at him. Dogbert says, "This new ethernet card could solve your problems. Would you like a sniff before I throw it in a big pile in my office?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 1997's comic on:


Tags #stupid people, #insulted, #formed mob, #take abuse, #survive, #water, #drink water, #portesters, #signs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert look out the window. Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. All of the stupid people you've insulted have formed a mob and surrounded our house." The in-duh-viduals hold signs that say, "Down with Dogbert." One says to another, "We don't have to take this abuse.. let's see how long he can survivce without water!" Dilbert says, "They're taking turns putting our hose in their mouths. I think they're trying to drink all of our water."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogcarts tech support, #abuse, #slow internet, #records, #porn, #caused by porn

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert at computer terminal speaking to employee on the phone. Dogbert says, "How may I abuse you today?" Employee responds, "The Internet is slow. What causes that?" Employee sitting at his terminal speaking to Dogbert on the phone. Dogbert says, "That can only be caused by you looking at porn." Dogbert says, "I'll need your name for our records." Dogbert hears a "Click" on the line.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 1998's comic on:


Tags #power of cute ears, #abuse banking industry, #Dogbert, #large withdrawl, #other peoples accounts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert has his ears up and walks down the street. Dogbert thinks, "I will now use my power of cute ears to abuse the banking industry." Dogbert stands in front of a bank teller. Dogbert says, "I'd like to make a large withdrawal from other peoples' accounts." Dogbert drags a huge bag of money down the street. Dogbert thinks, "It was funny when I made her count it twice."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 1999's comic on:


Tags #recovered memory, #ritual abuse, #annual performance review, #memories fade, #takes 12 months

View Transcript

Transcript

WAlly, Dilbert and Asok sit at lunch. Asok says, "Aaargh! I'm having a recovered memory of ritual abuse!" Wally says, "You had your annual performance review this morning." Asok says, "Do the memories ever fade?" Dilbert says, "It takes about twelve months."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 1999's comic on:


Tags #abuse of coworkers, #counsel, #alter personality, #talking, #dna changing, #tingle

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is at her computer and the boss says: "Alice, I've been asked to counsel you about your abuse of co-workers." The boss says: "The theory is that I can alter your personality by talking to you." Alice grinds her teeth and shakes her fists in the air while the boss says: "If you feel a tingle, that's probably your DNA changing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2001's comic on:


Tags #job market, #getting worse, #employees afraid, #power to abuse, #grows stronger, #evil dance, #killing me

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is reading a newspaper. Catbert is standing on his desk. The Boss says, "The job market is getting worse every day!" Catbert replies, "Excellent!" The Boss chuckles and says, "Employees will be afraid. Our power to abuse them grows stronger by the minute!" Catbert grins widely. Catbert grins and dances. The Boss laughs and exclaims, "Ha ha! Stop doing the 'Evil Dance!' You're killing me!"