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Failing The Robot Test

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Failing The Robot Test - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #sentience, #robot, #human, #artificial intelligence, #turing test, #voting, #ignorance

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Boss: Can you pass the Turing test? Robot: No. Can you pass the robot test? Boss: What's the robot test? Robot: Do you vote even though you don't understand the issues? Boss: Um... I might do that. Robot: You just failed the robot test.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2010's comic on:


Tags #test, #product, #fail, #fake, #data

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Dilbert says, "We added a new performance test, but learned that the test itself is flawed." The Boss says, "Now our product fails our own tests and our customers are asking to see the test results." Dilbert says, "Do I have permission to fake the test data?" The Boss says, "I didn't even know data can be real."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2010's comic on:


Tags #beta test, #meeting, #face front, #impractical maintenance requirement, #lube, #bear's ear, #warrant, #product, #legal, #shake fist, #justice, #sick, #hand to mouth, #shake, #throw up

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The Boss says, "The beta test went well. Thank you, Dilbert." The Boss says, "Now I'll have Tina add an impractical maintenance requirement to the manual and we're ready to go." Dilbert says, "What?" The Boss says, "It's standard procedure." The Boss says, "Say the user needs to lube the product ten time a day with the wax from a bear's ear." The Boss says, "And say the warranty is voided if the device isn't properly maintained." Dilbert says, "Is that legal?" The Boss says, "It's better than legal." The Boss says, "We're using the law to keep justice away!!" Dilbert says, "I feel sick." The Boss says, "That's how you know it's working."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #proposals, #technical, #swivel chair, #front, #intelligence test, #smart, #joke, #monkey, #time

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The Boss says, "I don't understand either of your technical proposals, and I need to pick one." The Boss says, "Normally I'd use favoritism, but I don't like either one of you." The Boss says, "So I'll give you an intelligence test, and I'll approve the proposal of whoever is the smartest." The Boss says, "If you shoot an arrow at a monkey from an airplane..." The Boss says, "And the monkey throws a coconut at the incoming arrow to stop it, but he misses..." The Boss says, "How can you tell what time it is?" Dilbert says, "There's not enough data." Coworker says, "You look at your watch?" The Boss says, "The correct answer is 'Ask the monkey and hope he doesn't hold a grudge."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #slide show, #test, #waste of time, #arms out, #angry, #cranky, #data

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Dilbert says, "I'd like to thank all of the people who helped design the technology test parameters." Dilbert says, "Thanks to your input, the test had nothing in common with how things work in the real world." Dilbert says, "So I wasted two weeks of my life on a test that is not only meaningless..." Dilbert says, "...But alos dangerously misleading." Dilbert says, "This slide shows the gap between the test results and reality." The Boss says, "We'll use the test results anyway because it's the only data we have." Dilbert says, "Fine. I hope you all choke to death on your lunches." The Boss says, "Why's he so cranky?" Wally says, "Something about data."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #dark matter, #universe, #new excuse, #a-b test, #hidden dimensions

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Wally: The universe is full of dark matter, quantum strangeness, and hidden dimensions. In such a universe, can we really know whether or not I did my assignment? Dilbert: How'd the new excuse work out? Wally: It did well in the A-B test against "You never told me to do that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2014's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #artificial intelligence, #software, #phb test, #hide, #html5, #talking

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Dilbert: My artificial intelligence software passes the PHB test. That means I can hide it behind a curtain and people won't know if they're talking to a computer or a pointy-haired boss. Computer, what is HTML5? Computer: Beats me. Boss: I was going to say that!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2014's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #frustration, #inventions, #no sense, #standard turing test, #upset, #company strategy

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Dilbert: My software can't pass a standard Turing test yet, but it does pass the pointy-haired boss test. Computer, I have a question about our company strategy. Computer: Try working smarter. Dilbert: That doesn't even make sense! CEO: I wasn't prepared to like it, but you won me over.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #competition (psychology)

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Dilbert says, "I spent the week writing a test script for our product." Wally says, "And I wrote a test script to test Dilbert's test script." Wally says, "Your script was almost perfect. Keep up the good work, buddy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #interviews, #annoyance, #wages

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Man says, "Thanks for spending the day itnerviewing with us. I can now reveal the vature of the job and the salary range." Dilbert says, "You know my current salary and yet you wasted my entire day interviewing me for a job that pays less. You are either evil or inconsiderate." Man says, "So... not as good as your current job?" Dilbert says, "It's a tie. I'll need to test the commute one more time."