You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #confusion, #firings, #panic, #fear, #humor

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "You still work here? I thought I downsized you last week." Asok says, "Um?I don't think so." The Boss says, "Check your spam folder after the meeting." Dilbert says, "First recession?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2009's comic on:


Tags #fear, #worried, #panic, #honesty, #reality

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "This is my first recession. How worried should I be?" Wally says, "You'll be fine as long as you don't have any hopes and dreams." Asok says, "But I still have them." Wally says, "It's time to yank off that band-aid."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2009's comic on:


Tags #pride, #selfishness, #worried, #history, #lying

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "This recession frightens me." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "During the Crimean war, all I had to eat was the cold stench of death!" Asok says, "You don't seem old enough to?" Topper says, "I use moisturizer!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2009's comic on:


Tags #temperature, #office, #rudeness, #anger, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "This office is freezing. Why aren't you cold?" Dilbert says, "My brain is much larger than yours. It heats my entire body when I think." Dilbert says, "But whatever you're doing now seems to be working too." Carol thinks, "#!*$0!%"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2009's comic on:


Tags #cold, #temperature, #rudeness, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "It's only 68 degrees in here. Why aren't you cold?" Wally says, "I'm a mammal, but I don't like to brag about it." Carol says, "What's that supposed to mean?" Wally says, "Stop pinging me with your sonar."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #sales, #annoyance, #anger

View Transcript

Transcript

man says, "Thanks to a new law, every customer In my sales territory needed to upgrade." man says, "Now I wear a hat made of money. The funny thing is that I'm not even a good salesman." man says, "Next week, the donuts are on me." Alice says, "Die! Die! Die!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2009's comic on:


Tags #selfishness, #rudeness, #sales, #internet, #confusion, #sabotage

View Transcript

Transcript

The lucky sales guy man says, "My sales quotas were set too low. I plan to buy a yacht with my commissions." man says, "Would you mind programming the navigation system so I can get drunk while my boat takes me places?" Asok says, "Why are you researching where all the pirates attack?" Dilbert says, "It's better if you don't know."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2009's comic on:


Tags #order, #demand, #email, #internet, #annoyance

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Carol, send an e-mail to the department with my leadership thought of the day." Carol says, "What is it?" The Boss says, "I'm busy. Make up something." 'That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger. So please slap me in my fat, bald head.'

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #mistake, #confusion, #department

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We'll be shutting down our aerospace division because it hasn't won any contracts in two years." The Boss says, "Rumor has it that the admin assistant was faxing all of our bids with the blank side facing up." Carol says, "The blank side isn't supposed to face up?" The Boss says, "Uh-oh."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2009's comic on:


Tags #acting, #lesson, #occupation

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We don't have enough money to fund your project, but I don't want to downsize you and shrink my empire." The Boss says, "I hired an acting coach to teach you how to hang around the office pretending to be useful." man says, "Are you dead or just non-expressive?" Dilbert says, "It's called a 'job'"