You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #lobbying, #business ethics

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Your lobbyist said I could have a lucrative job here someday if I support tax breaks for your company. I have offers from other bribers, so I thought I'd stop by and see how this dump compares. Dilbert: Suddenly I know too much. Man: Fetch me some coffee and I'll make your birthday a holiday.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2012's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #electronic mail

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I told you to reschedule the installation date. Dilbert: That conversation never happened. Maybe you planned to say it and then the thought morphed into a false memory. Boss: I'm sure I emailed you. Dilbert: You might want to pick a defense that's less checkable.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2012's comic on:


Tags #suspicion, #thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Based on this new information, you'll want to change our project scope. Boss: I don't do that. Dilbert: What? Think? Today I learned it's better if I don't try to guess what people mean.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2012's comic on:


Tags #obliviousness, #obstinacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've read that smart people make bad decisions because of their hubris. Catbert: Hubris? What is that? Boss: Beats me. But obviously I'm a prime candidate to get it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #writing

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Why are you picking this vendor? Dilbert: I listed the four reasons. Individually, each reason would not be compelling. But viewed as a whole, this is the best decision. This first reason is weak. Dilbert: And here we go.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #language, #thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: The project management framework embodies a project life cycle and five major project management process groups. Dilbert: Oh no! The extreme level of abstraction has made us weightless! Ted: That doesn't even make sense.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2012's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #annoyance

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Stop using the aisle behind my cubicle. It's distracting. Everything within twelve feet of my cubicle are my territorial waters. Ted: You can't enforce that. Alice: Tell that to my roboshark.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2012's comic on:


Tags #fish & aquatic mammals, #competition (psychology)

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm hearing some complaints that you built a robot shark to patrol the soc-called territorial waters around your cubicle. Alice: It's a robot dolphin. I can see how people might be confused. I need you to smile more. Shark: Whatever.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2012's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #embarrassment

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Good news: I signed up to receive a free leadership newsletter by email. I know it's good because it's written by some guy who used to have a job. Stop making everything I say sound stupid!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gloating, #rich people

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Leadership experts say I should never brag about my wealth. Let's just say I'm "comfortable." So very, very comfortable. Alice: Yeah, this isn't working.