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Tube Clothing At The Bar

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Tube Clothing At The Bar - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #dating, #low standards, #clothing, #jobs

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Dilbert: I noticed you eyeing my tube clothes. You're thinking I am a man who values substance over style and it turns you on. Woman: No, I'm thinking I'll date anything that has a job. Dilbert: I have one of those!

Dilbert Meets The Mom

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Dilbert Meets The Mom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags #dating, #low standards, #meeting people, #parents

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Woman: Mom, this my date, Dilbert. He only wears tube clothes. Dilbert: For the efficiency. Whoa! Before I touch that paw, have you been to any Ebola hot spots lately? Woman: He has a job. Dilbert: My time has come!

Single Dilbert Is Valuable

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Single Dilbert Is Valuable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #dating, #low standards, #competition, #Men

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Dilbert: I'm starting to realize that my market value as a single guy is higher than I thought. Men such as you have set the bar so low that all I need to do is have a job and be taller than most women in heels. I thought they were turned on by my tube clothing, but they actually like me for me. Wally: You're welcome.

Dating Is A B Testing

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Dating Is A B Testing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #dating, #first date, #analysis, #judging, #comparison

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Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most.Woman: What exactly are you measuring? Dilbert: Asks too many questions.

Marriage Is A Financial Contract

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Marriage Is A Financial Contract - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2015's comic on:


Tags #dating, #marriage, #money, #romance, #contract, #contracts

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Woman: I want to be in a serious relationship that can lead to marriage. Dilbert: Marriage is a financial contract. How much money do you have? Woman: All I have is me. Dilbert: So... more vendor than spouse?

Tube Clothing Or Rug

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Tube Clothing Or Rug - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #clothing, #clothes, #style, #insult, #nerd, #nerds

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Dilbert: Tube clothes! I invented that style! Did it reduce the number of decisions you need to make every day? Man: I'm just a guy wrapped in a carpet. Dilbert: Oh, I thought you were like me. Man: I don't have to take these insults.

Showering In Tube Clothes

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Showering In Tube Clothes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #clothing, #clothes, #efficiency, #engineers, #nerd, #laundry

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Dilbert: I discovered that I can wear my tube clothing in the shower! It's like doing laundry and taking a shower at the same time! I can add one more efficiency, but I'd need to replumb the shower drain. Tina: Please stop talking!!!

Love Me For My Mind

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Love Me For My Mind - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #dating, #relationships, #love, #priorities

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Woman: I want a guy who loves me for me, and not for the way I look... or the things I do. Dilbert: That doesn't leave me much to work with. Can I love you for your money and your vanilla-scented body lotion? Woman: You could love me for my mind. Dilbert: That might have worked two minutes ago.

Topping Our Of Category

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Topping Our Of Category - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2015's comic on:


Tags #topping, #competition, #hyperbole, #lying

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Alice: I only slept three hours last night. Topper: That's nothing! I used kunk fu to divert an asteroid that was on a collision course with Earth. Alice: Topping needs to be in the same category! Topper: Only if you're bad at it! Hoo-ha!

Dilbert's Tube Clothes Distract

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Dilbert's Tube Clothes Distract - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #clothing, #fashion, #sexiness, #sex appeal, #obliviousness, #human resources, #dress code

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Catbert: Your co-workers are complaining that your tube clothes distract them from work. Dilbert: I can make some modifications so I'm less sexy. That should cut down on the distraction. Catbert: We might not be on the same page. Dilbert: I could wear a corduroy tube. That's a libido killer.