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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 1989's comic on:


Tags #date, #honesty, #love & dating

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk. Dilbert writes, "Single, dumpy and dull male seeks young and beautiful woman for romance." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "The key to writing a successful 'personals' ad is honesty . . . Complete and total honesty." Dogbert asks, "What species are you targeting?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 1989's comic on:


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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "So, since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round." Dilbert says, "Look . . ." Dilbert continues, "You can ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut." Dogbert says, "So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians . . ." Dilbert replies, "Yes . . . No, wait . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1989's comic on:


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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert says, "Be honest, Dogbert. Do you think I'm a gifted inventor . . ." Dilbert asks, ". . . Or just a pathetic dweeb who contributes nothing to humanity?" Dogbert says, "Well . . . Uh . . . I think . . ." Dogbert says, "In my mind, you are the 'tube sock of inventors.'" Dilbert says, "Really? Gosh . . . Thank you . . . Wait, that's good, right? Of course, it must be good." Dogbert says, "Ambiguity succeeds where honesty dares not venture."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 1990's comic on:


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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "What I look for first in a man is honesty." Dilbert says, "Okay . . . I'd like to skip this boring conversation and go smooch." The woman says, "I didn't mean honesty about relevant things."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1990's comic on:


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Dilbert arrives at home and asks Bob the Dinosaur, "What's this business of you climbing on the roof and shouting when I'm at work?" Dawn the Dinosaur stands next to Bob. Bob replies, "Sorry. We dinosaurs have always been bad at concealing our feelings . . . In fact . . ." Bob continues, "Honesty caused the extinction of many early species." A large dinosaur holds a small dinosaur. The small animal says, "Don't let the spines fool you; I'm great eating!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 1990's comic on:


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The thief comes to the door and Dogbert says, "Greetings." The crook says, "Hey! Ain't you the worthless watchdog from dat Dilbert guy's house I robbed?" Dogbert points to Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs and says, "I'd like you to meet Dawn and Bob who will say a few words about honesty." Dawn is holding a bat. Bob and Dawn hold the thief upside down by his ankles. Bob says, ". . . And honesty means never having to say 'please don't flush me down the toilet.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1993's comic on:


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The Boss, Dilbert, Alice, Wally and an executive sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "You all know our president, Mister Goodenrich. He's here to answer any questions you have." Alice asks, "Why aren't there any women or minorities in senior management positions?" Mr. Goodenrich replies, "We think women are for making babies. As for minorities, we fear them." Wally asks, "How can you justify your ten million dollar salary when profits are down?" The president laughs and replies, "The board of directors are friends of mine and it's not their money they're spending." Dilbert asks, "Why does the company keep talking about employee training while at the same time slashing the training budget?" The president replies, "We think you're too dumb to train. We'll hire people from the outside if we need talent." Wally says, "I must say, your honesty is kind of refreshing." The president replies, "And you're all fired for asking questions."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 1994's comic on:


Tags #head of market research, #120k salary, #value opinions, #refrence, #honesty, #pay these days

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"I got a job as the head of market research at your company. I'll be pulling down $120 K per year." "I don't value otehr people's opinions so I'll just use my own." "Just for reference, how much does honesty pay these days?" "Shut up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 1994's comic on:


Tags #project, #assigned, #maintain status quo, #everybody likes project, #not enough funding

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The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm assigning you to 'The Project That Wouldn't Die.'" The Boss continues, "Everybody likes this project too much to cancel it, but not enough to fund it properly." Dilbert puts his hands over his eyes and says, "Aaarg!!" The Boss continues, "Now go out there and maintain the status quo!" Dilbert says, "You really shouldn't mix honesty with your motivational speeches."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 1994's comic on:


Tags #total quality method, #bullrush award, #honesty award

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "Describe how you used 'total quality' methods on your last project. We're applying for the Millard Bullrush Quality Award." Dilbert says, "You know I didn't use 'total quality.' I'd have to lie." The Boss responds, "Sadly, Millard passed away before he could invent the Millard Bullrush 'Honesty' Award."