Search Results for "Alice"

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Coaching Alice

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Coaching Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #coaching, #mentor, #boss, #manager, #Advice

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Boss: Do you want some coaching? Alice: Heck yes. If you find someone who knows my job better than I do, send them my way. Boss: Maybe I could share my wisdom with you. Alice: Can you teach me how to stay calm when some idiot interrupts me?

Boss Thought Of It First

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Boss Thought Of It First - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #credit, #ideas, #thinking

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Alice: And that's my idea. I think it's brilliant. Boss: I thought of that idea right before you said it. Alice: What are the odds of that? Boss: It happens to me all the time.

Spreading Ted's Ashes

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Spreading Ted's Ashes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2016's comic on:


Tags #apathy, #ashes, #cremation, #death, #spreading, #toilet

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Alice: Ted's widow asked us to spread his ashes around the office because he loved his job. Wally: I'll do it. Alice: You didn't like Ted. Wally: Was that a requirement? Alice: Don't let anyone see you flush it.

Naming The Spaceship

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Naming The Spaceship - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #naming, #space, #space flight, #rocket, #engineering, #failure, #death

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Ted: I'm looking for a name for the spaceship that I designed. Dilbert: How about "Death Tube?" Alice: "Space Debris?" Wally: "Final Resting Place?" Ted: I was hoping for something more positive. Voice: We're positive it will explode.

Asok's Body Double

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Asok's Body Double - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #arrest, #hit man, #mistaken identity, #body double, #doppelganger

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Alice: I thought you got arrested for killing the creator of Garfield's body double. Asok: Almost. They arrested my body double. Alice: Why do you have a body double? Asok: It's for situations like this.

World's Saddest Club

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World's Saddest Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #catch-22, #deadline, #lose-lose, #choosing

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Man: Can you get that analysis to me by Tuesday? Alice: Yes, if I do it poorly. Alternately, I can do it well and miss your deadline by a week. Man: That gives me no path to success. Alice: Welcome to the world's saddest club.

Humidity Is Wrecking Hair

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Humidity Is Wrecking Hair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #hair, #humid, #bad hair day

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Alice: The humidity is wrecking my hair. Please don't stare. Dilbert: I can't promise that. Alice: You're staring! Dilbert: I'm afraid to turn my back on it.

Alice Gives Approval

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Alice Gives Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #deal, #support, #negotiations

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Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to get everyone's buy-in on this. Alice: I'll agree to your stupid idea if you support my great idea later. Dilbert: Deal. Alice: Should I read it? Dilbert: I don't see why.

Alice Takes On More Work

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Alice Takes On More Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #workload, #philosophy, #semantics

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Alice: Why do I keep taking on more work while you do noting? Wally: That's because you optimize for productivity, while I optimize for my happiness. Alice: That makes you a freeloader. Wally: I prefer the label "happy winner."

Alice's Phone Trance

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Alice's Phone Trance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #phone, #cell phone, #distraction, #attention, #social, #interaction, #ignore, #ignoring

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Dilbert: Hey, Alice. Alice... Alice... Alice... Alice... I can't penetrate your phone-induced zombie trance, so I'll just text you. Alice: Stop doing that. Dilbert: I can't hear you because I'm looking at my phone.