Search Results for "CEO"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Boss Wants Private Office

Thank you for voting.
Boss Wants Private Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cubicle, #office, #office workers, #privacy, #open office

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The employees are complaining because our new open office plan has too many distractions. CEO: You want to go back to cubicles? Boss: No, I just need a private so I can't hear them complaining.

Dilbert Might Be Colluding

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Might Be Colluding  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #collusion, #trump, #russia, #rumor, #conjecture

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: People tell me Dilbert's project is in chaos. Why is that? Boss: Maybe he's been colluding with our Elbonian competitors. But that's just a guess. CEO: I can't unhear that.

Ceo Likes Asok's Presentation

Thank you for voting.
Ceo Likes Asok's Presentation  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #powerpoint

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO said he liked your presentation. Asok: He made me shut up and sit down before I got to my first slide. Boss: He's not a big fan of content.

75 Slides Too Long

Thank you for voting.
75 Slides Too Long  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #length, #brevity, #powerpoint

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I have 75 slides to discuss in ten minutes. Save your questions to the end. CEO: Sit down and never talk to me again as long as you live. Dilbert: How'd the CEO presentation go? Asok: It was 75 slides too long.

Alice Helps Asok With Slides

Thank you for voting.
Alice Helps Asok With Slides  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #powerpoint, #slide, #Advice, #speech

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Can you help me edit my slides for my CEO presentation? I have 75 slides and ten minutes to present. Alice: Get rid of 74 of them. Asok: I'll ask someone else.

Imagine He Is Naked

Thank you for voting.
Imagine He Is Naked  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #Advice, #nervous, #naked, #fear

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you have any tips for my presentation to the CEO? Boss: When you are presenting, imagine you are naked and everyone is laughing at you. Asok: Why? Boss: It's just something I read. I might have the details wrong.

One Small Mistake Is Doom

Thank you for voting.
One Small Mistake Is Doom  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #nervous, #Advice, #fear, #anxiety, #public speaking, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you have any advice for my presentation to the CEO? Dilbert: Sure. If you make one small mistake, your career will be finished. Asok: You just made me nervous and thus doubled my risk of failure. Dilbert: I'm not the one who brought it up.

Don't Make Eye Contact With Ceo

Thank you for voting.
Don't Make Eye Contact With Ceo  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #nervous, #anxious, #fear

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm nervous because I need to make a presentation to our CEO. Do you have any advice? Wally: Don't make eye contact with him. He hates that. Asok: You have made things far worse! Wally: He also flies into a rage when he hears the word "the."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #failure, #blame, #executives, #scapegoat

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our sales for the quarter were zero. CEO: Heads will roll! Whose fault is this. Dilbert: It's entirely your fault. You told a reporter that our next version will be amazing. So all of our customers are waiting for the new version. The only sensible solution here is for you to admit your mistake and resign in utter humiliation. CEO: Or... I could blame this guy, whatever his name is. Man: That isn't right. CEO: Looks like I'll be adding insubordination to the charges.

Wally's Sleep Vr

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Sleep Vr - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #vr, #virtual reality, #sleeping, #nap, #deception, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I wrote a VR program that creates the illusion you are asleep. Watch me demonstrate. ZZZZZ. CEO: How long should I watch?