Search Results for "app"

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Both Huge Liars

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Both Huge Liars - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2018's comic on:


Tags #dating, #tinder, #app, #relationships, #lying, #deceit

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Dilbert: You don't look like your photos on the dating app. Woman: Your profile said you like to go to the gym. So I guess we're both huge liars. Dilbert: Maybe we can build on that.

Tracking Employee Theft

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Tracking Employee Theft - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #data, #information, #spying, #privacy

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Carol: Someone stole my purse out of my cubicle. Catbert: No problem. We have security video nearly everywhere and we can track every phone that has our internal company app on it. Carol: That is mildly disturbing. Catbert: Here's a live feed of the perp in the third stall of the men's restroom.

Finding Alice

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Finding Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2018's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #data, #spying, #location, #privacy

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Boss: Does anyone know where Alice is? Dilbert: Yes. The CIA, Google, Facebook, Apple, and Russian hackers know where she is. Boss: But we have no way to find her? Dilbert: Depends. Was she dumb enough to download our company app?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2018's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #spying, #technology, #lying, #caught, #busted, #guilt, #proof

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Dilbert: Why didn't you answer my email? Boss: I didn't get it. Dilbert: My lie-detector app detected stress in your voice. I checked your email history on the server, and it confirms you opened my email. Boss: That could have been a hacker with my password. Dilbert: I'm checking the security camera footage for your office at that time. And there you are opening my email. Now will you admit you got my email? Boss: I'm seriously considering it.

User Specifications Are Not Complete

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User Specifications Are Not Complete  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2018's comic on:


Tags #user specifications, #apps, #build app, #no hope, #fantasize

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Dilbert: are these user specifications complete? Ted: No, I plan to add requirements as you build the app until you have no hope of success and you fantasize about strangling me. Dilbert: Do you know what isn't as refreshing as you'd hope? Dogbert: Honesty?

Unforseen Problems

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Unforseen Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #building apps, #completion date, #problems, #unforseen

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Dilbert: It will take four weeks to build the app, unless there are unforeseen problems. how often do we have unforeseen problems? Dilbert: One hundred percent of the time. Then whats the point of estimating a completion date? Dilbert: I was hoping to make you stop talking but t dint work.

Dopamine

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 Dopamine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #addiction, #dopamine, #prescription, #drugs

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Dilbert: Why do I need a prescription from a doctor to make a drug that boosts my dopamine... but I don't need a doctor's approval to use an app that is designed to do the same thing? Are you ignoring me and playing with your phone? Dogbert: I wasn't getting any dopamine from listening to you.

Animal Testing Is Done

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 Animal Testing Is Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #app, #technology, #addiction, #morals, #big business, #ethics

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Dilbert: The animal testing for our app is done. The app is so addictive that Zimbu the monkey was hospitalized for starvation while using it. I think we all know what we need to do. Boss: Submit it to the app store?

Zimbu Tests The App

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 Zimbu Tests The App - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #addiction, #stimulus, #animal testing, #social media

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Narrator: Zimbu The Monkey. Dilbert: We need to do animal testing on our new app. Do you mind taking a look? Zimbu: I'm getting a strong dopamine hit every time I click on it. Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Dilbert: May I have it back? Zimbu: Put that hand away before I bite it off.

Traffic App

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Traffic App  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #excuses, #lying, #app, #technology, #busted, #caught

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Wally: Sorry I"m late. There was a big accident on the freeway. Boss: Not according to my traffic app. Wally: Just out of curiosity, what types of excuses are impossible to check with an app?