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No Good Ideas In Decades

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No Good Ideas In Decades - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #candid, #ageism, #conversation, #speaking, #talking

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Man: May I make a suggestion? Dilbert: Sure. Do you mind if I only pretend to listen because you haven't had a good idea in several decades? Man: That's fine. I was only looking forward to the part where I'm talking. Dilbert: Proceed.

Bad Analogies

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Bad Analogies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #criticism, #critique, #simile, #language

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Man: Your idea is awful. Dilbert: Can you explain your reasons without using an absurd analogy? Man: It's like a pregnant squirrel eating a sandwich. Dilbert: I'll take that as a no.

Worried About Dilbert's Mental Health

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Worried About Dilbert's Mental Health - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #asoks health, #boss worried, #brilliant ideas, #misunderstand, #too dumb, #dilbert's mental health, #called into question

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The Boss: Im worried about DIlberts mental health because his ideas are so bad. Asok: How did you rule out the hypothesis that his ideas are brilliant but you're too dumb to understand them? The Boss: Now Im worried about Asok's mental health too.

Obvious Ideas

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Obvious Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #copyright, #ideas, #thinking, #stealing, #intellectual property, #originality

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Boss: People keep stealing all of my great ideas. Alice: Have you ruled out the possibility that you only think of ideas that are obvious? Boss: Hmm... I hadn't considered that. Alice: And yet it was obvious.

Someone Stole Phb's Idea

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 Someone Stole Phb's Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #patent, #copyright, #invention, #credit

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Boss: Hey! Someone stole my product idea! Dilbert: To be fair, your idea would have been obvious to a monkey with a drinking problem. Boss: But a monkey couldn't build this product. Dilbert: Neither can you. Let's call it a tie.

Success Diminishes Other Guy

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Success Diminishes Other Guy   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #diminshed, #support, #stab me, #great deas, #discussion, #argument

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Ted: Your idea is great, but I plan to oppose it because I feel diminished by the success of others. Dilbert: Maybe you could support it now and then stab me in the back later. Ted: That's two great ideas you've had today. Dilbert: thank you.

Fake Email From The Ceo

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Fake Email From The Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virus, #infection, #malware, #technology, #typo, #literacy

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Dilbert: I can't delete the Elbonian virus in our network. It keeps replicating. Holy carp! It created a fake email full of typos and bad ideas and sent it out from our CEO's account! Wait, no. That's actually from our CEO. Wally: Maybe the virus can fix him.

Too Dumb To Understand

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Too Dumb To Understand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #insult, #intelligence, #ego

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Man: Your idea will never work. Dilbert: That's because you're too dumb to understand it. My idea would look brilliant if you were sixty percent smarter. Man: I don't know how to respond to that. Dilbert: That's consistent with my hypothesis.

Winning The Meeting

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Winning The Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #game, #cruelty, #insult, #criticism

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Wally: Meetings used to be frustrating and boring until I gamified that situation. Now I try to win meetings by criticizing co-workers offering no ideas of my own, and leaving without any new task. Dilbert: You call that winning? Wally: Compared to my victims, yes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #ideas

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Man: I can't figure out what is wrong with my code. Dilbert: Try rubber ducking it. Man: What? Dilbert: Rubber ducking is when you solve your coding problem by explaining it to a toy rubber duck. When you explain a problem to someone else, it forces you to look at it from new angles. Man: I can't tell if that is a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Dilbert: Ask your boss. Man: Okay, is rubber ducking a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Boss: It's a brilliant idea. I get most of my management ideas by talking to an imaginary rhesus monkey. Dilbert: I think you muddied the waters there a little bit.