Search Results for "coach"
Share October 16, 2013's comic on:
Dogbert: Executive Coach Dogbert: You need to focus on your career or your family. You can't do both. CEO: I don't have a family. Dogbert: Actually, you're married and you have four kids. CEO: That sounds like a huge hassle. Dogbert: Perhaps you've already chosen.
Share September 24, 2013's comic on:
Dogbert The Executive Coach Dogbert: The ROI for executive coaching is 9,000%. CEO: Wow! That's a lot! But I need a coach who won't ask em to do anything differently. Dogbert: I wasn't planning to show up for our meetings. CEO: Perfect. How much do I owe you for today?
Share November 21, 2012's comic on:
Boss: I stopped by to do some coaching. Dilbert: How's that work when the employee is more capable than the coach in every conceivable way? Boss: Let's start with your attitude. Dilbert: Said the angry guy.
Share June 04, 2010's comic on:
Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's school of time management." Dogbert says, "Today you will learn that rudeness and good time management are the same thing." Man says, "Answer my #@*% question!" Dogbert says, "Keep typing, Beverly! He doesn't exist."
Share June 28, 2009's comic on:
Dogbert says, "We're going into the executive recruiting business." Dilbert says, "But the economy is so weak that there aren't any job openings." Dogbert says, "That's why we're also going into the executive coaching business." Dogbert says, "We'll give our clients bad advice, and get them fired." Dogbert says, "Then our recruiting division will offer to fill those jobs." Dogbert says, "Wally, you'll be our executive coach." Wally says, "Your receptionist is cute have you considered stalking her?" Man says, "Um...a little." Wally says, "You can borrow my binoculars."
Share March 24, 2009's comic on:
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Until the company returns to profitability I will only fly coach." Dogbert says, "I'll book three coach seats in a row so I can stretch out." Dogbert says, "One of you will be a Sherpa for my bedding." Dogbert says, "I'll bring my own air marshal to punch anyone who talks while I'm napping." Dogbert says, "And a videographer so I can see the playback when I wake up."
Share January 13, 2009's comic on:
Share January 12, 2009's comic on:
The Boss says, "We don't have enough money to fund your project, but I don't want to downsize you and shrink my empire." The Boss says, "I hired an acting coach to teach you how to hang around the office pretending to be useful." man says, "Are you dead or just non-expressive?" Dilbert says, "It's called a 'job'"
Share January 21, 2007's comic on:
The Boss: From now on, all travel must be booked through the corporate travel web site. Alice: Our travel web site is terrible. It only lets you book the cheapest flight, and that's always on Elbonian Airlines. The Boss: Don't be such a snob. What's wrong with using a discount airline? Alice: Well, they list their destination airports as 'whatever looks soft'. The meals in first class are made of anyone who dies in coach. Their entire security screening process involves shouting at each passenger 'Are you Osama bin Laden?!!!'" "And I once saw a baggage handler wearing my dress. The Boss: Whiner.
Share June 07, 2005's comic on:
"I'm dogbert, your life coach. I'm here because you're an unmotivated, drifting, unorganized dolt." "Life coach? I didn't ask for a life coach." "Which part of the "unmotivated, drifting, unorganized dolt" is confusing you?"