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Tracking Employee Theft

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Tracking Employee Theft - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #data, #information, #spying, #privacy

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Carol: Someone stole my purse out of my cubicle. Catbert: No problem. We have security video nearly everywhere and we can track every phone that has our internal company app on it. Carol: That is mildly disturbing. Catbert: Here's a live feed of the perp in the third stall of the men's restroom.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2018's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #spying, #technology, #lying, #caught, #busted, #guilt, #proof

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Dilbert: Why didn't you answer my email? Boss: I didn't get it. Dilbert: My lie-detector app detected stress in your voice. I checked your email history on the server, and it confirms you opened my email. Boss: That could have been a hacker with my password. Dilbert: I'm checking the security camera footage for your office at that time. And there you are opening my email. Now will you admit you got my email? Boss: I'm seriously considering it.

Porch Thief Is Neutralized

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Porch Thief Is Neutralized  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #violence, #retaliation, #delivery, #package, #stealing, #theft, #ring, #technology

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Alice: Uh-oh. My home security system is showing a thief stealing a package from my front door. Activating particle beam defense. The threat has been neutralized. Dilbert: When you say "neutralized," does that mean... Alice: Activating crime scene cleanup drone.

Homeland Security Risk

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 Homeland Security Risk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #homeland security, #awareness, #consciousness, #terrorism

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Agent: Homeland Security has identified you as a risk of being radicalized online. Dilbert: Is it because I'm a single male, I hate my job, and no one loves me? Agent: We didn't know about that stuff. Now I have to call in a drone strike.

Human Sensation Slipping Away

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 Human Sensation Slipping Away - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #addiction, #humanity, #technology, #existentialism, #existential crisis, #awareness

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Dilbert: My sensation of being human is slipping away. My car practically drives itself, and the apps on my phone control my brain. I feel as if I need to do something stupid just to feel alive. Carol: Homeland security?

Elbonians Hackers Get Into Network

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Elbonians Hackers Get Into Network - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2017's comic on:


Tags #hacker, #hacking, #malware, #virus, #infection, #cyber security, #obliviousness, #password

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Boss: Elbonian hackers got into our network. We don't know how. Dilbert: Maybe it was the thumb drive you found on the sidewalk in front of our entrance. Alice: Or maybe it was because your password is "password." Boss: How do you know my password?

Tina The Whistleblower

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Tina The Whistleblower - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #company policy, #human resources, #whistleblower, #security, #confidential, #business

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Tina: Is there any kind of whistleblower protection at this company? Boss: Yes, management is protected against whistleblowers like you. Tina: Are you going to fire me? Boss: No, no, no. I'll just make you want to quit.

Airport Scanners

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Airport Scanners - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #video, #security camera, #tsa, #air travel

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CEO: I heard you appeared naked on Elbonian television. Dilbert: I did? CEO: The only television show in Elbonia is a live feed from their airport full-body scanners. Dilbert: That can't be true. CEO: One of our subsidiaries built the system. Here's you.

Airport Security

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Airport Security - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #viral video

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Dilbert: My business trip didn't go well. I took off my belt for airport security and my pants fell off. Someone took a video and everyone is sharing it. Wally: This is literally the first time I wish I had friends.

Drone Defense Has One Problem

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Drone Defense Has One Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #drones, #national security, #invention, #technology, #birds, #death, #environmental issues, #medical

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Dilbert: We are testing the drone defense shield as I speak. Boss: Is it working so far? Dilbert: Not according to the Audubon Society.