Search Results for "health"

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Wally Is A Maverick

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Wally Is A Maverick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #health, #standing desks, #standing, #sitting, #laziness

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Wally: I like to think of myself as a maverick. Let the trendy people brag about their standing desks. I haven't stood in a week. Dilbert: I have some bad news about your health risks. Wally: Should I sit down to hear it?

Wally Likes Sitting

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Wally Likes Sitting  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #standing desk, #health, #sitting, #standing

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Boss: The company has authorized the purchase of standing desks for employees who want them. Wally: Literally the only good thing about this job is that I can do it while sitting down. Boss: How did you get to this meeting? Wally: Your chair doesn't have wheels?

Let's Do The Meeting Later

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Let's Do The Meeting Later - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #fitbit, #health, #monitor, #wearable tech, #surveillance

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Dilbert: According to your employee health monitor, your lack of sleep last night is hampering your mental functions. Let's end the meeting and try again when your brain is working better. Man: I don't understand. Dilbert: That is consistent with the data.

Ted Might Drop Dead

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Ted Might Drop Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #health, #monitor, #fitbit, #wearable tech, #heart attack, #diseases, #death, #prediction

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Boss: Ted, your performance is poor. I need to let you go. Ted: Is it a coincidence that you're firing me at the same time my employee health monitor detected cardiovascular disease? How good are the predictive analytics on this? Boss: Don't make lunch plans.

Work Until You Drop

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Work Until You Drop - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #health, #monitor, #fitbit, #energy, #surveillance, #wearable tech, #dedication, #work ethic

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Boss: Your health tracker says you are leaving work at the end of each day with energy to spare. That's exactly like stealing from the company. Dilbert: You want me to work until I drop? Boss: I'm not allowed to say that directly.

Wally's Watch Is A Snitch

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Wally's Watch Is A Snitch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #wearable tech, #health, #surveillance, #fitbit, #monitor, #fitness, #attendance

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Wally: I can't come to work today. I'm totally sick. Boss: According to your employee health monitor, you're not sick at all. Wally: Stupid snitch!!!

Watch That Monitors Health

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Watch That Monitors Health - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #health, #wearable tech, #fitbit, #fitness, #monitor, #surveillance

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Boss: Our new product is a watch that monitors every aspect of your health. Wearing the watch is mandatory for all employees. Your data will automatically stream to our cloud storage. Voice: Because you care about our health? Boss: Sure. We'll go with that.

Tina Won't Stop Talking

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Tina Won't Stop Talking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #company policy, #politeness, #etiquette, #time, #talking

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Dilbert: Our new politeness policy is having unintended consequences. I just spent four hours listening to Tina talk about hear health problems because the company says it is rude to just walk away. Wally: How did you escape? Dilbert: She had a health problem. I got lucky.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #health, #morning, #waking up, #sleepless, #complaining, #manager, #sociopath, #emotions

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Boss: Can you take a call with our Elbonian customers at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Dilbert: Sure. All I need to do is put my health at risk by not getting enough sleep tonight. Of course, I'll hate your guts for making me come to work so early. And I would expect my bad attitude to infect my co-workers and make them less productive, too. My lack of sleep will affect my decision-making, obviously. And I"m working on important projects, so the ripple effect could be catastrophic. So, do you still want me to be here at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Boss: Yes. You don't have to be a sociopath to be a manager, but it helps.

Brain Fragments

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Brain Fragments - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bored, #boredom, #health, #mundane

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Dilbert: I need to take an extended medical leave to recover from a boredom-related injury at work. You gave ma a task so boring that my brain tried to escape through my lower gastrointestinal tract. Boss: I'm sure it wasn't that bad. Dilbert: I found brain fragments in my pants.