Search Results for "illness"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Do Not Implicate Boss

Thank you for voting.
Do Not Implicate Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #sick, #sickness, #illness, #contagious, #deadline, #responsibility, #accountability

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My project is two weeks late because you came to work two weeks ago and gave me the flu. Boss: Do you have any excuses that don't implicate me as the main problem? Dilbert: How about I say I didn't feel motivated and leave it otherwise vague? Boss: I can work with that.

Boss Comes To Work Sick

Thank you for voting.
Boss Comes To Work Sick  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #sick, #sickness, #illness, #contagious, #sick days

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I have to warn you-- I have a fever and I'm tripping on cold medicine. Alice: Thank you for coming to work and infecting all of us, you selfish, addle-brained plague rat. Boss: I was going for "courageous." Dilbert: Do Wally first, so I can watch him spasm.

Disgruntled Carol

Thank you for voting.
Disgruntled Carol - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2018's comic on:


Tags #personality test, #personality, #mental illness, #fear, #threat, #danger

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you take The Dogbert Personality Type Test? Carol: Yes. I'm a disgruntled psychopath with a blinding hatred for authority. Boss: I'll be in my office. Carol: Good! Stay there!

Boss Is Sane

Thank you for voting.
Boss Is Sane - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #mental health, #mental illness, #managers, #sane, #insanity, #logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Mental Health Expert. Boss: Can you confirm that my employees have lost their minds? Dogbert: Yes, because they work for you. Any other questions? Boss: But I'm sane, right? Dogbert: Yes, because you hired me.

Pill For Boss Conversations

Thank you for voting.
Pill For Boss Conversations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #mental health, #mental illness, #crazy, #managers, #sanity, #insane

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Catbert thinks I'm causing mental problems in my employees. That's crazy, right? Carol: Hold that thought. My doctor prescribed pills for when I have to talk to you.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #excuse, #illness

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have a note from my doctor. It says I'm too sensitive to handle criticism. I don't understand all the medical details. It has something to do with the mind-body connection. One minor criticism from you and my lungs will collapse. If that happens, you'll need to pinch my nose, create a seal with your mouth, and reinflate them. Boss: This doctor's note looks like your handwriting. Wally: Ow! My lung!

Stress Typo On Website

Thank you for voting.
Stress Typo On Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #health, #wellness, #corporate policy, #stress, #medical leave, #laziness, #loophole, #typo, #mistake, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How many employees did you say took paid medical leave? Catbert: All of them. A typo on our wellness website listed stress as an illness instead of a cause of illness. CEO: Is it too late to backpedal on the wellness thing? Catbert: I'll just fix the typo. It's all good.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2014's comic on:


Tags #executives, #respect, #prototype, #economical, #mental illness, #level conscious

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Your prototype will never economical. Dilbert: Certainty about the future is a sign of mental illness. CEO: Try to be more level-conscious. Dilbert: Yes, Your Highness.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2014's comic on:


Tags #illness, #stress, #culture of consulting fiorms, #flat linig, #false larm, #graphs

View Transcript

Transcript

Consultant: I haven't slept since October because the culture of consulting firms is anti-health. I'm flat-lining! False alarm. I'm back. Who wants to make some graphs?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2013's comic on:


Tags #illness, #laziness, #sitting disease, #sit all day, #bad health, #safety more eimportant, #drink coffee instead

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've got a bad case of something the experts call "sitting disease." Studies show that people who sit all day for their jobs have 40% greater chance of dying in the next three years. Company policy says safety is more important than productivity, right? Boss: Um... sort of. Wally: So instead of sitting at my desk working, I plan to walk around and drink coffee. For safety reasons. Boss: GO sit at your desk or you're fired. There's a good chance this problem will resolve itself within three years.