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Dogbert's Negotiating Class

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Dogbert's Negotiating Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #negotiating, #deception, #sales, #manipulation, #deal

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Boss: I approved your request to take a negotiating class. Dilbert: Why did you change your mind? Boss: The instructor offered a great deal. Narrator: Earlier that day. Dogbert: Would you like to spend other people's money to get rid of Dilbert for a few days? Boss: Sold!

Being Ineffective

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Being Ineffective  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #negotiating, #haggle, #training, #conference, #skills

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Boss: Why are we paying so much for this software? Dilbert: Because you didn't let me take a class on negotiating like I asked. Boss: Are you using this as leverage to get approval for the class? Dilbert: No, I'm just being ineffective. Does it look the same?

Dilbert Is Bad At Negotiating

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Dilbert Is Bad At Negotiating  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #negotiating, #haggle, #trick, #deception

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Dilbert: I want you to lower your price, but I don't know how to negotiate. Man: It's easy. All you need to do is offer to pay more than the list price and wait for me to counteroffer. Dilbert: Okay... I'll pay twenty percent over the list price. Man: You win! Sign here.

Dogbert Won't Teach Persuasion To Dilbert

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Dogbert Won't Teach Persuasion To Dilbert  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #negotiating, #persuasion, #help, #altruism, #selfishness

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Dilbert: Can you teach me to be more persuasive? Dogbert: What's in it for me? Dilbert: It will make you feel good to help a friend. Dogbert: Does it feel as good as denying you? Dilbert: I have no way to know. Dogbert: Bah!

Logical Reasons For Learning To Negotiate

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Logical Reasons For Learning To Negotiate  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2017's comic on:


Tags #negotiating, #persuasion, #catch-22, #argument

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Dilbert: I can't persuade my boss to let me take a class on how to negotiate. Asok: Try giving him logical reasons. He'll respond to that. Dilbert: And then I would be able to negotiate for a higher salary. Boss: Pass.

Dilbert Wants To Take A Class In Negotiating

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Dilbert Wants To Take A Class In Negotiating  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #negotiating, #catch-22, #conference, #training

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Dilbert: I need your approval to take a class on negotiating. Boss: See if you can persuade me to approve it. Dilbert: I... don't know how to negotiate yet. Boss: That's the flaw in your plan.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #job, #scope, #negotiating, #engineer, #demands, #failure, #stress

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Boss: We need to cut our budget. Go to all of our vendors and tell them to reduce their prices. Dilbert: Why would they do that for us? Boss: Tell them we'll buy from someone else unless they do. Dilbert: That's what we told them to get the prices we have now. I'm an engineer, not a professional negotiator. Your plan has failure designed into it. Your poor leadership already has me on the edge of madness. This could push me over the edge. Boss: And I need it done by Tuesday.

Dogbert Talks Past The Sale

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Dogbert Talks Past The Sale - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #manipulation, #negotiating, #negotiation, #psychology, #guest artist, #josh shipley

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Dogbert: Do you want to prepare and serve my favorite food to me now or in one minute? Dilbert: Why do you always that manipulative trick of making me think past the sale? Dogbert: Because it works? Dilbert: One minute! Not a second sooner!

Dogbert's Class Learns Nothing

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Dogbert's Class Learns Nothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #strategy, #guest artist, #josh shipley

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Boss: The employees who took your class on negotiating are complaining that they learned nothing. Dogbert: I heart those same employees scheming to vandalize your network. Boss: Now that's all I can think about! How did you do that? Dogbert: Gotta go.

Dogbert's Negotiating Class

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Dogbert's Negotiating Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #book, #deal, #negotiating, #negotiation, #self help, #guest artist, #josh shipley

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Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's one-week training class for negotiators. I believe in leading by example, so this entire course will involve me trying to persuade you to buy my book. If everyone in the class buys my book, you can all have the rest of the week off. Voice: Done.