Search Results for "office"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him

Thank you for voting.
Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #deception, #invisibility, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's your stealth clothing project coming along? Wally: Great. I'm usually testing the prototype in the office. That's why you rarely see me working. Boss: So... the less I see you work, the more successful you must be? Wally: It's just common sense.

Barry Dingle

Thank you for voting.
Barry Dingle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2017's comic on:


Tags #questioning, #correct, #incorrect, #explanation, #answer

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Sorry I'm late. Barry Dingle keeps hanging around my office and asking hard questions. Dilbert: You don't know the answer to any hard questions. Boss: That's why it takes so long. Dilbert: So... you just spout nonsense until he leaves? Boss: That's my go-to strategy for most situations.

Suboptimal Barry Dingle

Thank you for voting.
Suboptimal Barry Dingle  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #open-door policy, #corporate culture, #pest

View Transcript

Transcript

Barry: Hi, I'm Barry Dingle. I hang around your office door and ask you questions every time you get off the phone. Boss: I hate that. Barry: You can blame your open-door policy for all of it. Boss: This is sub-optimal.

Move To Cubicles Is Complete

Thank you for voting.
Move To Cubicles Is Complete - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #office, #cubicle, #depression

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're done moving the staff from the open office plan back to cubicles. Now they will be less distracted when they focus on the crushing futility of their assignments. Boss: Good job. Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be in my fabric-covered box.

Asok Uses An Algorithm

Thank you for voting.
Asok Uses An Algorithm - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #cubicle, #popularity, #algorithm, #decision

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: After the office redesign, you will be in the cubicle nearest our pointy-haired boss. Man: How did you decide on that? Asok: I used an algorithm. Man: Is the algorithm that you hate me? Asok: And you have never studied martial arts.

Asok Is In Charge Of Cubicle Move

Thank you for voting.
Asok Is In Charge Of Cubicle Move - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2017's comic on:


Tags #office, #office workers, #cubicle, #popularity, #power

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Asok, I"m putting you in charge of deciding who gets which cubicle after the office redesign. Asok: But... everyone will hate me for deciding who gets the best cubicles. Boss: Try to see it as an upgrade to your current situation of no one caring about you. Asok: That helps a little.

Two Choices For Work Space

Thank you for voting.
Two Choices For Work Space - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #office, #office workers, #cubicle, #distraction, #work from home

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're trying to decide if it's better to have an open office plan with too many distractions to be productive... or soul-crushing cubicles that will make every employee envy the dead. Dilbert: Maybe everyone can just work from home? Boss: And miss all of this?

Boss Wants Private Office

Thank you for voting.
Boss Wants Private Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cubicle, #office, #office workers, #privacy, #open office

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The employees are complaining because our new open office plan has too many distractions. CEO: You want to go back to cubicles? Boss: No, I just need a private so I can't hear them complaining.

Open Office Plan Failed

Thank you for voting.
Open Office Plan Failed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #office, #office workers, #cubicle, #change, #mistake, #admission, #hubris

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our transition to an open office plan has been a huge failure. Too many distractions. How can we change back to cubicles and private offices without looking like idiots? Are you listening to me? Boss: Is someone nursing a baby over there?

Cubicles Like A Carton Of Eggs

Thank you for voting.
Cubicles Like A Carton Of Eggs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cubicle, #office, #simile, #eggs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Have you ever noticed that our cubicles are organized exactly like a carton of eggs. Boss: That feels right because eggs go rotten quickly, too. Dilbert: I already hate my own analogy. Boss: Eggs are overly sensitive, too.