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Punishment By Talking

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Punishment By Talking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2017's comic on:

Tags #deadline, #time, #time management, #managers, #perspective

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Boss: Why is your project taking so long? Dilbert; It isn't. It only seems like a long time to you because you don't know how to do anything. Boss: I know how to punish you for being late. Dilbert: Does it involve talking to me while I'm trying to work?

Ceo Sits On His Wallet

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Ceo Sits On His Wallet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2016's comic on:

Tags #complaining, #perspective, #suffering, #competition

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CEO: I hate to complain, but it hurts when I sit on my wallet for too long. Asok: I risked an honor killing to pay my rent. CEO: This is why I hate to complain. Asok: I know a hundred ways to eat a spider.

Travelling Broadens Worldview

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Travelling Broadens Worldview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2016's comic on:

Tags #travel, #perspective, #view, #worldview

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Alice: I love travelling because it broadens my understanding of the world. Wally: I know what you mean. I just got a cubicle near the window and now I see the world as an alleyway between me and the parking garage. Alice: That's dumb. Wally: That's not what the alley people say.

Wally's World Expands

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Wally's World Expands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2016's comic on:

Tags #window, #view, #seeing, #perspective, #office, #office workers

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Wally: My world view has expanded since I moved to a cubicle near a window. I didn't realize how much stuff was outside our building. Boss: Such as the rest of the universe? Wally: I can only see the alley in front of the parking garage.

Too Dumb To Understand

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Too Dumb To Understand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2016's comic on:

Tags #intelligence, #perspective, #dumb, #social media, #comment

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Boss: I can't believe how stupid this person is. Dilbert: How do you rule out the hypothesis that you're too dumb to understand his point? Take your time. I can wait. Boss: For starters, he disagrees with me.

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The Comparison Problem

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The Comparison Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2016's comic on:

Tags #entrepreneur, #comparison, #power, #money, #perspective, #happiness

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CEO: How'd it go when you told your staff to act more like entrepreneurs? Boss: Not so good. They were happier when they were comparing their careers to other people in cubicles. Dilbert: What?! This idiot is worth a billion dollars now??? Asok: Gaaa!!! I'm a failure!

Smart People Are On Both Sides

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Smart People Are On Both Sides - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2016's comic on:

Tags #Politics, #intelligence, #appearances, #perspective

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Dilbert: Have you ever noticed that there are smart people on both sides of every political issue? Boss: Maybe it only seems that way to you because you're not one of the smart ones. Dilbert: Do I seem smart? Wally: I didn't realize you were trying.

Give Up On Making Them Happy

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Give Up On Making Them Happy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2015's comic on:

Tags #happiness, #deception, #perspective, #work, #office, #marriage

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Boss: I'm giving up on trying to keep them happy. My new plan is to tell them things are worse everywhere else. Catbert: Will that work? Boss: It worked on my wife.

How It Feels To Never Accomplish

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How It Feels To Never Accomplish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2015's comic on:

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #perspective, #happiness, #satisfaction

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Dilbert: What's it like to never feel the satisfaction of a job well done? Wally: It's even better than you'd think! Dilbert: We might not be on the same page here. Wally: I hope your page feels as good as mine.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2012's comic on:

Tags #puppets, #business ethics

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CEO: I'd like to address the rumor that I padded my resume. In the strictest sense of the word, I am not technically an "engineer" per se. But to put this in perspective, even The Pope hides his browser history. It's no big deal.