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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #contracts, #relations between the sexes, #Women, #ignorantly signed, #legal strategy, #affadavit, #attractive women, #have cooties

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Man says, "The contract that you ignorantly signed gives them the right to harvest your organs." Man says, "Your best legal strategy is to get sworn affidavits from attractive women saying you have cooties." Woman says, "Heck yes, I'll sign it." Dilbert says, "I was hoping this would be harder."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2010's comic on:


Tags #said same thing, #27 times, #using different words, #stop talking, #rude, #repeat yourself

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Alice says, "Excuse me. By my count, you've said the same thing 27 times, using different words." Alice says, "If I can get sworn statements from everyone here that we understand your point, will you stop talking?" Man says, "That's mighty rude of you." Alice says, "I dont' get your point. Can you repeat it 26 more times?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2007's comic on:


Tags #highest paid, #tell each employee, #dont tell, #secrecy, #lies, #control

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The Boss: "Alice, you have the highest salary in the department. But don't tell anyone what it is." "Dilbert, you have the highest salary in the department. But don't tell anyone what it is." "I can't believe I never thought of that before." Catbert: "Yeah, especially since you're the highest paid manager."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 1999's comic on:


Tags #wear jeans, #work pants, #sworn secrecy, #butt looks good, #comfratble, #jeans under work pants

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Wally and Dilbert get coffee in the office kitchen. Dilbert says, "I wish we could wear jeans at work." Wally says, "I'm wearing jeans right now." Wally says, "I wear my work pants over the jeans so no one will know how comfortable I am." Alice comes into Dilbert's cubicle. Alice says, "Why does Wally's butt look so good today." Dilbert says, "I'm sworn to secrecy."