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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert asks Catbert, "Any advice?" Catbert says, "Try to be less like you." Dilbert, carrying a bunch of flowers, thinks, "That might work." Dilbert hands the flowers to a female co-worker and thinks, "Less like me... Less like me." The female co-worker says to Dilbert, "I collect crystals." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The female co-worker says, "I don't know of any scientific evidence that they can heal." Dilbert thinks, "Whew." The female co-worker says to Dilbert, "But it's my point of view that they do." Dilbert says to the female co-worker, "When did ignorance become a point of view?" Seated in a restaurant reading a menu, Dilbert sits across from the frowning female co-worker and thinks, "Too much like me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert says to a co-worker, "I asked for more e-mail storage space and you deleted all of my files!" The co-worker says to Dilbert, "You complain when I ignore your requests and you complain when I delete your files." Dilbert cries, "Those aren't your only choices!!" The co-worker says, "I can't please everyone."

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Catbert and Dilbert watch The Boss who is in a coma at his desk. Catbert says, "A manager's brain is like a pump. If it becomes empty you must prime it." Catbert says to Dilbert, "Whatever he learns first will form the foundation for all of his future perceptions." Catbert points at Dilbert and says to The Boss, "This guy has been talking smack about you." The Boss begins to come to, saying, "Unh..."

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Asok the Intern watches Wally taping a pencil to the hand of The Boss who is comatose. Wally says, "I'll tape a pencil to his hand and use it to sign off on a raise for me." Asok the Intern says to Wally, "That would be so unethical... hiccup. May I have ten percent?" Wally works on getting the pencil into the comatose Boss' hand as Asok says, "That hiccup damaged my moral compass."

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Wally waves his hand in front of The Boss' blankly staring eyes and says to Dilbert, "He might be faking a coma to avoid work." Wally says to Dilbert, "The only way to find out is to punch him repeatedly." Dilbert says, "Maybe we should get Alice." Wally, bunching his fists, asks, "Do you remember if I'm right- or left-handed?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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A doctor is examining The Boss as Dilbert says, "I think he tried to meditate." The doctor says, "That's the problem." The doctor continues examining The Boss and says to Dilbert, "You shouldn't mix meditation with management. The mind gets too empty." Dilbert asks, "What can we do?" The doctor says, "I plan to rifle through his pockets."

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As Dilbert knocks at his door, The Boss thinks, "I must clear my mind of all thoughts." The Boss says, "At the end of the day we'll be in a market space on a going forward basis." The Boss says, "Om... Om... Page..." Dilbert says, "I'll come back when you're done practicing being useless."

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In the kitchen, Dilbert says to his mother, "I've been thinking about your birthday, Mom." His mother says, "How sweet." Dilbert says to his mother, "It seems so inefficient to wrap up your present." As they carry milk and cookies out of the kitchen, Dilbert says to his mother, "You'll just rip up the wrapping paper an hour later." As his mother sets the cookies down, Dilbert says to her, "So I was thinking of throwing a towel over it instead." Dilbert says to his mother, "You'd get all of the element of surprise without wasting paper." Dilbert says to his mother, "Maybe I can use one of your towels so I don't have to lug one from my house." Dilbert's mom says, "Of course, dear. I wouldn't want you to lug a big heavy towel just for me." Dilbert reaches for a cookie and says, "Good. It's settled." His mother says to him, "Those aren't for you."

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Wally says, "As you know, I'm the only employee who is not exceeding expectations." Wally says, "You should punish the others for unscrupulously padding their objectives! Those lying weasels!!" Wally asks The Boss, "Can I get a Whistle-Blower Award for this?"

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Wally is reading the newspaper as Dilbert looks in Wally's cubicle and asks, "Wally, are you free for lunch?" Dilbert says to Wally, "I need to remind myself how lucky I am that I don't have your laziness or personality or looks." Wally asks Dilbert, "Would you say I'm kind of a Renaissance loser?"