You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2010's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Amber, would you like to celebrate New Year's Even with me?" Amber says, "I'll say maybe. That way you can't make other plans and I can wait for a better offer." Amber says, "I can get away with it because of whatever is happening over there." Dilbert says, "Yup."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2010's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "A competitor from the future is sending robots back in time to terminate our company." Dilbert says, "So far it's not much of an issue because their time travel technology is way ahead of their robot-building skills." Wally says, "Is that as fun as it looks?" Alice says, "Totally. They're like zombies, but crunchier."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2010's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "I've noticed that whenever I ask you a specific question by email, you avoid answering it." Alice says, "You're either an unhelpful moron or a poorly designed robot sent from the future to terminate our company." Dilbert says, "How did you know it was a robot?" Alice says, "I didn't."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2010's comic on:


Transcript

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2010's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I feel like a failure. Say something to cheer me up?" Dogbert says, "Happiness comes from comparing yourself to a reference group that is relatively worse off." Dogbert says, "You're a successful member of the reference group." Dilbert says, "And that's not nothing!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2010's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Did you read my long e-mail?" Dilbert says, "Not yet. What's it about?" Coworker says, "I can't say." Coworker says, "If I tell you what I wrote, the effort I put into writing the e-mail will be transformed into a waste of time." Dilbert says, "I just decided to delete your e-mail before reading it. Therefore it is already wasted." Dilbert says, "You are now free to tell me its contents without reducing your productivity." Coworker says, "Oh. Okay." Coworker says, "It was something about improving communication. But I worded it better." Coworker says, "Maybe you should read it." Dilbert says, "Maybe you should."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2010's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Are you ready to do mental gifting?" Dogbert says, "You go first." Dilbert says, "I imagine giving you a sweater that doesn't fit." Dogbert says, "I imagine giving you a tool that you already have." Dilbert says, "Merry Christmas, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Stupid sweater."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2010's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I've decided to escalate my anti-social behavior from not listening, to actively talking over other people." Dilbert says, "How can you enjoy the conversation of others if you don't listen?" Dogbert says, "This could be one of the best ideas I've ever had." Dogbert says, "It all came together when I realized that listening isn't the fun part."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2010's comic on:


Transcript

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2010's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Excuse me. By my count, you've said the same thing 27 times, using different words." Alice says, "If I can get sworn statements from everyone here that we understand your point, will you stop talking?" Man says, "That's mighty rude of you." Alice says, "I dont' get your point. Can you repeat it 26 more times?"