You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Wally Didn't Write It Down

Thank you for voting.
Wally Didn't Write It Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #project, #excuse, #procrastinate, #delay

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Did you finish the prototype? Wally: I didn't start because I had some questions. Man: Why didn't you ask me those questions a month ago? Wally: I was waiting until I saw you. Man: Fine... what are your questions? Wally: I just realized I didn't write them down.

Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise

Thank you for voting.
Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #genius, #work ethic, #efficiency

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Can you do that by end of day? Wally: It would be smarter to wait until we have the final specs. Woman: I can't tell if you're lazy or wise. Wally: It's all the same thing. Woman: This is a weird gray area. Wally: I'm going to take a quick nap to boost my productivity.

Wanting More Out Of Life

Thank you for voting.
Wanting More Out Of Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #laziness, #wisdom, #ambition

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you ever want more out of life? Wally: That's how losers think. If you always want more, you can never be happy with what you have. Asok: I can't tell if you're wise or lazy. Wally: I know. It took me years to find that sweet spot.

Ambitious Men

Thank you for voting.
Ambitious Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2017's comic on:


Tags #dating, #rude, #honesty, #ambition, #insult

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I like ambitious men. Are you ambitious? Dilbert: Not especially. For example, I settled for dating you. Woman: That's a terrible thing to say. Dilbert: You're the one who brought it up.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #delay, #frustration, #interpersonal communication

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you know how to clean up line noise on an XLR connection? Man: No but I can show you how to do something different. Dilbert: Why would I want to see something different? Man: Because it reminds me of what you want to do. Dilbert: I don't need to see that. Man It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: I don't have ten minutes. It never takes only ten minutes, and it isn't relevant to my situation. Man: I'm going to show you anyway because you're too polite to walk away while I'm talking. Narrator: Thirty minutes later. Dilbert: Something is wrong with you. Man: Now watch me do it left-handed!

Wally's Coffee Drone

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Coffee Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managers, #management, #ideas, #invention, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My leadership job didn't last long. I got demoted back to engineering. I guess they realized all of my ideas are about coffee. Dilbert: I've noticed that too. Wally: Watch out for my coffee drone behind you.

Wally Gets Promoted

Thank you for voting.
Wally Gets Promoted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managers, #management, #leadership, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I got promoted to a leadership role. It means I get to tell people to work hard, but I don't have to do any worm myself. Dilbert: That doesn't sound right. Wally: I could use a fresh one of these.

Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #success, #Promotion, #management, #work, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The product you accidentally invented is our biggest seller in company history. So I'm promoting you to a leadership position. Wally: Phew! I thought you were going to make me work.

Wally's Invention Goes Into Production

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Invention Goes Into Production - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #invention, #success, #laziness, #fairness, #unfair

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: The board decided to put your invention of a phone charger that warms coffee into production. Market surveys show enormous demand. You're probably going to be our Employee Of The Year. This disturbs me on many levels. Wally: Genius is often disruptive.

Wally Presents His Invention To The Ceo

Thank you for voting.
Wally Presents His Invention To The Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #invention, #heat, #charger, #phone, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I invented a phone charger that uses its excess heat to keep your coffee warm. CEO: No one needs that. Wally: Hold that thought. CEO: Oh, heck. Wally: It sells itself.