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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Tomorrow I'll tell the stockholders that we earned $100 million!" "Will you tell them that you gave all of their profits to senior management in the form of unexpensed stock options?" "We had to be incentivized." "So you wouldn't take their furniture, too?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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The shareholder meeting turned ugly when I said we used all the profits to give ourselves stock options.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I need clarification on my assignment.

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"I hired a buck-passer." "He's cheaper than a regular employee because he gets other people to do his work." "Could you shake his hand for me, sport? I don't have that kind of time."

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"The buck-passer" "Alice, this task is right up your alley." "Why should I do your work, you filthy buck-passer?!" "Because it's right up your alley." "It's gonna be right up your alley."

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"I see a problem with your plan." "Oh, do you, Mr. Negativity?" "Why is it that you're the o-o-o-only person in this meeting to see a problem? Huh? Huh?" "My theory is that the rest of you are either morons or drunk." "I am totally sober!"

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It's time for some drive-by-management.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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