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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"You should hire me as your process reengineering consultant." "I would be totally objective about what jobs to eliminate. Frankly, I don't care about anybody at your company!" "You've got the right attitude." "I think I'll wear a flowing robe and surround myself with cherubs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Here's our preliminary recommendation for radically reengineering our business processes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Do you remember last election day...and how you convinced me to not vote?" "You argued that since we disagreed on all issues, we could both stay home and the outcome would be the same as if we both voted." "Dogs can't vote!" "Well, not directly."

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"According to this, a technical degree becomes obsolete in five years." "Do you mind? I'm trying to get some work done on the...uh..." "Uh-oh." "Doohickey."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I can assure you that the value of the average employee will continue to increase." "Is that because there will be less of us, doing more work?" "I'm right, aren't I?" "Except for the 'us' part."

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"The company has announced there will be no raises or promotions this year." "Now, there's a mathematical certainty that no matter how hard you work, inflation will make you poorer." "I hated the old way, with all the uncertainty." "I'm not just a manager, I'm a leader!"