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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"We have too many managers, so I'm making you an aspect manager." "You'll be in charge of one aspect of a corporate objective." "Please just fire me." "Your aspect will be morale."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I've been named the aspect manager of moral. Effective today, you no longer report to me." Yippeeee! Woo hooo! Yes! "How did you improve the morale so quickly?" "I'm a genius?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Carol, two things: First, I got transferred to a new job, and that means your job here is eliminated." "Why must I suffer for your massive incompetence? You worthless pile of stinking crud!" "And the second thing?" "I'll need a secretary at the new job."

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"I'm Zenox, the new manager of this coven... I mean department." "When I am displeased I make this face and growl like the undead." Grrow-eeeahh! "The new dress code is 'winged monkey.'" "If a man acted like you he'd be called tough."

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The New Boss "Maybe you'll be more motivated with a goat head." "The spell won't go away until you finish your project." "She's a big improvement over our last boss." "She's sadistic, but she's fair."

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"When I found out that the manager who replaced me was a witch, I set a fire in the break room." "The automatic sprinkler system came on and melted her. Witches don't like water." "Are you glad to have me back?" "I've been doing CPR on this blob for two days."

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"I worked nights and weekends to finish my project ahead of schedule." "Good. Here's more work." "I don't understand. Am I being punished for working hard?" "No, you're being rewarded with exciting new challenges." "Why does the plant grow faster when you say things like that?" "No reason." "Stop that!" "Anyway, your annual performance review will award your hard work."

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"This week I achieved unprecedented levels of unverifiable productivity." "I made phone calls, built consensus, displayed leadership, attended meetings and set priorities." "And then we have this meeting."

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How can I make my job more enjoyable?

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I can't put this banana peel in my trash; it will stink all day.