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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Elbonian Culture Class "When an Elbonian businessman gives you his card...",br>"Crumple it up and put it in your mouth. Chew it slowly then spit it toward his forehead." "This leads me to my next topic: Dueling with Yak bones."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Elbonia has no landing strips, so you'll have to jump our of the plane." "Try to flap your arms and aim for a plump Elbonian to cushion your fall." "Dang." "Airplane."

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I hate landing in Elbonia. "Whump!!!" "Hi. I'm from America and I'm hree to help."

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In Elbonia "I'm from America and I'm here to fix all of your problems." "Your arrogance is offensive. We will form an armed resistance and right you to the end of time!" "Um... Why?" "It's just something we do."

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"My business trip to Elbonia was a success." "If anyone tells you that I cause a civil war that plunged their society into darkness, it's a lie." "Did you loot me anything?" "I didn't know your size."

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I need to hire an assistant manager." "I want someone similar to me, but slightly worse in every way." "Worse than you??" "Yes, but only slightly." "The ideal candidate wouldn't be a threat to replace me." "I'll check my database of applicants who are both hideous and criminally insane." "I said slightly worse." "Exactly. I found one." "I can pretend to read in five languages." "I hate cats."

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Wally, I want you to go help Alice on her project." "Have you tried working harder? Sometimes thta works." "I hope she doesn't become dependent on my help."

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Wally, I asked you to help Alice on her project but all you did was tell her to work harder." "You can't just tell someone to work harder and expect it to happen!"" "Aren't you doing that right now?",br>"Shut up and go work harder."

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We're having a problem with the rats in the office. "You might want to upgrade your level of hygiene from "rat bait" to "unwashed.""<Br>"I think I just felt my first tingle of job satisfaction."

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"Have you ever noticed that the things that don't kill you make you weaker?" "And great minds don't think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions." "I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill"