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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"This was our third date, Liz. Tradition demands that you kiss me or give me the 'let's be friends' talk." "No, our first date only counted as 85 % because we were wearing our sweat pants." "I'm 15 % short?!!" "It's too bad, because I really felt like kissing."

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"What are you drawing, Dogbert? "I'm creating a comic book called, 'The Adventures of Boron'." "'The most boring man in the entire Universe'." "Boron looks like me." "Geez, what an ego you have." "In chapter one, Boron slays the entire marketing department by explaining asynchronous protocols." "I think it's high time we engineers got a little respect in this society!" "Furthermore, there are many advantages to asynchronous transfer mode switch technology!" "First, there's bandwidth..."

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Here's my daily project status report.

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Do you remember when the company President visited? You asked why your project had been cancelled.

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Uh-oh...it's never good when we get mail from the benefits department.

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"Dogbert told me about the birds and the bees." "The bee part confuses me. It seems like I'd get stung." "And as for birds, I just wouldn't know the words to say." "Try a humming bird."

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"My philosophy is 'if life gives you lemons, make lemonade'." "Of course, the whole thing depends heavily on life also providing a big pitcher with ice and a few glasses." "What? No napkins?!"

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"As my dogumentary begins, we see the engineer hard at work." "Suddenly, he leaps into action! Years of training and experience come into focus!" "The screen saver has been deactivated. But doubt sets in...was there a better way?" "I should have moved the mouse."

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Let's each share our accomplishments for the month.