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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I'll arrange my papers to signal that I want this meeting to end." "Tap tap tap" "C'mon, take a hint!" "So, as I was saying..." "Tap tap tap" "The man would not take a hint." "I said it's all gone!"

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"We only have two people on the third floor. Let's move them to our empty cubes here and sublet the space." "Write a business case with all the risks and business drivers and I'll consider it." "I changed my mind. We shouldn't so anything." "I need a business case for that, too."

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"Shut the door. We need to talk about what you've done." "What?!" "Gaaa!!! Please don't leave me hanging! What have I done??!" "Hello." "My watch stopped. No, wait, I think time itself stopped!!!" "Note: Time-frozen people look exactly like this."

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Time has stopped until my boss gives me the bad news that he hinted was coming.

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"I grew a beard while waiting for my boss to get off the phone." "Then I realized I don't need to exercise because no one expects bearded guys to have any discipline." "I'll have everything on the even-numbered pages, a cigar and ...Do you sell suspenders?"

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"I save so much time by not shaving that Im considering giving up all forms of hygiene." "I'd phase into it by having a few unwashed telecommuting days per week." "And if you wear clown shoes, you never need to clip your toenails." "I should be writing this down."

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"I decided to shave off the beard I grew when I was waiting for my boss to get off the phone." "Beard? I hadn't noticed." "This will take awhile, so I'll wait until time slows to a crawl and do it then." "Did I ever tell you about my first job as an envelope licker?" "Click"

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources