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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #bob, #dawn, #mouse, #Dogbert, #offense, #animal behavior

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Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs sit on the floor playing cards. Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Let me introduce you to our dinosaurs, Bob and Dawn." Dawn screams, "Eeeek!! A mouse!" and jumps into the air. Ratbert says, "Not a mouse, a rat!!" Dawn says, "Oops. Sorry. You kinda look like a mouse." Ratbert replies, "No offense taken."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #scientist, #dies, #lab rat, #rat, #laboratory, #missing, #trail, #investigation

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Dilbert: Yes? Scientist: I'm looking for my escaped lab rat. The trail leads to this house. Dilbert: Can't you just use another rat? Scientist: No. I'm on a very limited budget. Dilbert: What will you do if he dies? Scientist: CPR.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #scientist, #laboratory, #will power, #escape, #engineering, #experiment

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Scientist: Ahaaa! There's my runaway lab rat! I'd recognize little XP-39C2 anywhere! All is forgiven come back to your job at the lab. I love. Scientist: He was specially bred to have no will power. Lab Rat: Hold me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #rabert, #lab rats, #stupid, #professor, #heart, #laboratory, #escaping

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Rabert: Goodbye, Dogbert, I must return to the lab with the professor. Dogbert: That's stupid. Rabert: He says he loves me. That must be why he fed me so much. Dogbert: You're getting stupider. Rabert: I have to follow my heart. Dogbert: Mmm... Love causes stupidity in lab rats.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #paper, #arm chair, #Dogbert, #news, #spoilers, #newspaper

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Dogbert enters the living room carrying the newspaper. He thinks, "Oh good, Dogbert isn't around. I can read the Sunday paper without having to share." Dilbert sits in his chair and thinks, "Ahhh . . . Mine are the first hands to unfold its crisp little pages. I alone determine the order of reading." Dilbert thinks, "Nobody will blurt out the punchlines before I read them." Dogbert flies through the air onto Dilbert's lap. Dogbert knocks the chair over and the paper scatters on the floor. Dogbert asks, "Were you finished with this section?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #conclusions, #news media, #times, #television, #tv, #news, #headlines

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Dogbert sits on his pillow watching television. A news reporter says, "A scientist reports that love made a lab rat stupid." The newscaster continues, "The scientist cautioned the media not to draw conclusions based on one rat." The cover of Time Magazine has a picture of Ratbert and the caption "Love and SAT Scores."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #exercise, #health club, #five minutes, #month, #health, #cardio

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Dilbert sits on a weight lifting bench holding dumbells. Dilbert thinks, "The experts used to say you should exercise every day." Dilbert thinks, "Now they think twenty minutes every other day is just as good." Dilbert collapses onto the bench and thinks, "My strategy of five minutes a month is looking pretty clever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 1990's comic on:


Tags #doctor, #doctor fishlips, #Dilbert, #police, #bold, #escape, #prison, #institutions

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Doctor Fishlips: Hello, Dilbert, this is Doctor Fishlips. I was wondering if you could come back for some X-rays. Dilbert: X-rays? Is that standard procedure a week after an appendectomy? Doctor Fishlips: A patient from the prison is missing... I'm told this isn't the first time, "Tiny Tom," has tried a bold escape,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #police officer, #doctor fishlips, #alien, #escaped, #convict, #operation, #surgery

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Doctor Fishlips: A patient from the prison disappeared after your appendectomy. Police Officer: "Tiny tom," is a master of escape. We think he crawled into your torso during the operation. Dilbert: That's stupid. How would he get out? Police Officer: Ever see the movie, "Alien"?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 1990's comic on:


Tags #doctor, #doctor fishlips, #police, #escaped convict, #tramp, #nurse, #appendix, #Comic, #comedy, #operation

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Doctor: There he is... Tiny Tom the convict is clinging to this man's pancreas. Note: Sometimes it is necessary to suspend disbelief for the purpose of creating comic situations. Parents should explain to their children that convicts will rarely, if ever, cling to another person's pancreas. Doctor Fishlips: Ho ho, it appears we have also located our own nurse Woodmeyer the tramp!