You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I am Mordac, the preventer of information technology, and I have assigned you a new password." "What is it?" "Click click" "It's the full text of 'The Da Vinci Code,' excluding the parts I don't believe." "I'm not touching you." "Stupid scenery descriptions!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I am Mordac, the preventer of information technology. I have modified your screensaver security to lock up after two seconds of inactivity." "Ha ha! Unless you touch the keyboard every two seconds you will be forced to log-in again!" "Dang you perpetually moving head-bobbing bird! Gaaa!!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I understand that you have an opening for a negotiator who deals with potential jumpers." "I can't see you because my hat is in the way, but you sound perfect for the job." "Your reverse psychology didn't work." "What reverse psychology?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Police Negotiator "SURRENDER NOW AND YOU WON'T GET HURT!!!" "Here he comes." BAM BAM BAM "I'll leave an evaluation form. Please let us know how we're doing." "Done deal."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"My accomplishments this month include complying with our ISO 9000, Sarbanes-Oxley and SEI-5 policies." "And if you make a new policy, I will comply with it so fast it will make your head spin!" "Is it my imagination or is pretending to work getting easier?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Sometimes I feel guilty because my company sells defective products." "I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day and I assume they deserve it." "By the way, where are we?" "I think we wandered into a bad doodle."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Please don't discuss your raise with co-workers." "Whatever." "Let's see how the losers and morons did." "You only got 6%? I got 8%." "9%. Why do you ask?" "7.5%. Anything less would be humiliating." "Well, let me see...I think it was..." "Brace for impact." "8.5%" "GAAA!!" "Has she yet learned why it is a bad idea to discuss her raise with co-workers?" "Sounds like it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I have good news about the promotion you wanted: You didn't get it! "HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY CALL THAT GOOD NEWS?" "They don't like positivity."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I have some good news and some bad news. "The good news is that the company is going to sponsor a corporate marathon team." "The bad news is that one of you has to run 26 miles tomorrow."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I want you to represent our company in the corporate marathon." "Um...I can't run 26 miles." "Yes, you can. I've designed a special hat to help you." "What the...?"